A few weeks ago I noticed a red lump on Lola’s back leg. Of course I immediately yelled out cancer, hugged her so hard she burped, and then proceeded to give her a full body lump exam while on the phone scheduling a vet appointment. Like any level-headed pet owner would do. I took her…
Read More
As I write this post I am listening to an infant bellow in the background like a foghorn. He just keeps letting out these great, big, deep sounding bellows. I guess this is his new nap time routine; drive Ms. Heather out of the home with the drone from his voice. Let’s hope he masters this new…
Read MoreLast night the skin on my neck tried to choke me. It was very traumatic. I should start at the beginning. I was on the couch and watching a riveting show on television. Sheldon Cooper was having a panic attack over Penny possibly getting him sick. All of a sudden, I had a hard time breathing.…
Read More
Lola and I had a kersnuffle today. That’s a term we like to use in polite company. It has been hotter than hell here in Washington state. And before all you people start complaining that it is much hotter where you are, we’d both like you to take a shut the hell up pill. Lola…
Read More
Specifically, any food you love before the age of 4. Kid food is always there for me. Like when I have to go to the doctor and the only thing motivating me through it is the ice cream I’m getting at McDonald’s. We can blame my mom for this – after every one of my…
Read More
Internet search terms, I love them so much. They can either cut you to the bone or lift your spirits up. Here are some of the recent searches that have found my blog: classy girl (Yes, yes I am. Well, maybe. What’s your definition of classy? I mean, Twinkies are definitely classy, right?) classy ladies (And…
Read More
So my Big Little is no more. Wait, wait, wait, don’t get squirrelly on me. She just had to move to her new duty station, she isn’t dead. I had that baby for 18 months, from her wee state at 6 weeks of age, and I miss her terribly. It definitely helps that her mom and I…
Read More
I’ve indulged in a new candy – sour Skittles. They were delicious! I do, however, think they should come with a warning label on the back. This will burn your tongue off. Your tongue will be numb for days. Your tongue will be so traumatized that it will hurt for days and you will have…
Read MoreThe road trip is over. I’m posting the last of the terrifying road signs which inform you that death is imminent and you need to pay $15 to enter the National Park. They don’t say ‘may the odds be ever in your favor’ but it is heavily implied. Today we are revisiting Mount St. Helens, since…
Read MoreI was wandering aimlessly around Mount Rainier and I came across this sign. It took me quite some time to name it because I was busy pondering what method I would prefer to kill me while camping. Even The Wildlife Don’t Camp Here. “Woohoo, sign me up!” Said with all the sarcasm my body is…
Read More
Shank You Very Much 