Giraffes need food too…

As I write this post I am listening to an infant bellow in the background like a foghorn. He just keeps letting out these great, big, deep sounding bellows. I guess this is his new nap time routine; drive Ms. Heather out of the home with the drone from his voice. Let’s hope he masters this new task quickly, the newborn starting on Wednesday is not going to like trying to sleep through this nonsense.

I am not a huge cuddler, neither is the bellowing Little, so we are both screwed if he can’t fall asleep on his own. It’s 90 degrees outside, 72 inside and cuddling will suck big time.

On to happier things.

First off, I guess that my laziness didn’t kill me this weekend. Even though my trachea got squished by my neck during Friday night’s tv marathon, I managed to find enough muscle to lift my head often enough to keep breathing. There’s a small chance I may have suffered some brain damage though – I’ve been struggling to use big words correctly for two days. Today I was commenting on another blogger’s site and I had to google if I needed to use the word nauseous or nauseated.

I know I did damage to my brain!

If my brain was damaged by my stupidity I’m sure you’ll all know it pretty soon. I may only be able to string five words together at a time. I need a long nap. I love Spam so much. I eat cake in bed. Actually, now that I think about it, life won’t be so bad if I can only string five words together. My basics are covered above!

I also went to Ikea this weekend. And I spent $200. On stupid stuff I didn’t really need totally needed. And I’m not going to lie to you, I may or may not have purchased 15 boxes of the alphabet cookies they sell there… they are so yummy!

In my defense, 12 of those boxes are on their way to Florida to make my 3-year-old nephew very happy. They have no Ikea in their area and the little guy ate every single one of the cookies in my house while he was visiting.

I also purchased a baby changing table that looks like a platform on legs. It is going to save my back a lot of aching, because right now I have to use the floor mat the Navy provides and you just kneel and bend.

This new changing table is great because I can use it for other things when the daycare is not here. I even caught sight of it in one of the kitchens that Ikea had set up, they were using it as an island. I’ve started a list of how it can be used, just in case Hubster thinks it was a useless purchase:

-espresso bar (we don’t actually drink espresso, but I think it will class up this house!)

-platform for Lola to stand on and greet people to their face as they walk in the door (Not sure how she’ll get up there, but we’re working on it)

-Twinkie stacker (you know, for those sale days when you have to go all out and buy every box)

-bookshelf (granted, I have few books since my Kindle was purchased, but I do have signed copies of Vengeance Bound and Promise of Shadows by Justina Ireland)

-I can convert it into a Chuppah (I’m not Jewish, but maybe I could rent it out to people who are Jewish and getting married)

-I can “plant” that grass that grows on any surface and use tiny scissors to keep it immaculate (I could even make designs to wow the mind)

-lemonade stand (who doesn’t need a few extra bucks?!?!)

-giraffe feeder (hello, I don’t want the giraffe to get a crick in the neck from eating off the ground)

I’ll leave you here to ponder the fact that I have giraffes in need of feeders.

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Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much