Dear Lola – He’s drinking on the job…

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Dear Lola,

Why do they call financial services people a broker? Doesn’t the very title lead you to have misgivings about giving them your money? Why would we hire someone to make us broke? I’ve been thinking about this all night, I’m turning 25 and been told it’s time to set up retirement accounts.

Also, would you happen to be a financial advisor – I think trusting a Bulldog with my money to be a wise course of action considering my alternatives.

Sincerely,
Reticent Retiree

Dear Lola

Dear Reticent Retiree,

Thank you for your question. First, I do not currently invest money. I do however like to freely spend it at the pet store whenever I get the chance. Until I can control my own finances, I am ill-equipped to handle someone else’s. (My Mommybeast put me on a budget, and you think you have problems!)

Now, I did a bit of research in the hopes of finding you answers. Sadly, I didn’t have my favorite toy to hug as I did so, since I chewed him up and my budgetary restraints won’t allow for a replacement until February. (Fiscal responsibility is such a pain in the arse!) I turned to my favorite source of information, Wikipuppia – an online encyclopedia that is always reliable. Perhaps you’ve heard of it?

It turns out the job of broker has been around a very long time. Unfortunately, their history will not make you feel any better about the profession. The name came about thanks to the practice of closing a deal over alcohol. I don’t want to jump to judgement here, but I’ve got better things to do with my money than to turn it over to a drunkard who had a few too many glasses of sour grapes at lunch!

My chew toy, Otis the Pig, is awaiting my return to the pet store so I can purchase him again.

So there you have it, a broker does not take your money with the intention that you will go broke. However, his drinking on the job could cost you everything! Tread carefully and consider hiding your money. Make sure to back up your treasure map in triplicate so that you can find it in 50 years!

♥Lola♥

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