I wish I had a cooler story…

Tags

, , , , ,

I broke my foot. Once again, I have broken my foot and I have no idea how or when I did it. For about three weeks my foot has been in pain, most days I just limp around the house in denial that I need to see a doctor. Today was the end of that denial. I woke up and put my feet on the floor to get out of bed and the searing fire that roared up my leg told me I couldn’t ignore the foot any longer. I hobbled around feeding Lola, who was very distressed at my ridiculous attempts to walk.

One hour and an x-ray later, I definitely broke my foot. I couldn’t even begin to tell the doctor how I did it. But you, my dear readers, you will get the real story.

I broke my foot walking. Yep, that’s it. Thanks to my muscular dystrophy I have ridiculously fragile feet that attempt to murder me on an hourly basis. I lift my foot, the toes flop back down, I almost trip and die. Every day, every single day, I give my feet a pep talk about just staying up when I lift them and not dropping back down and trying to trip me…usually resulting in some part of my foot being fractured. But thanks to my form of the disease, drop foot is going to happen no matter how many pep talks are given.

Foot in boot

So now I’m wearing a boot. Not the stylish kind that make fall so much fun, but the kind that announces you are a klutz, incapable of even walking without injury. The worst thing about this whole thing is that it’s my driving foot. That means I can drive but I have to take the stupid boot on and off to do so. Seriously, that’s more work than I’ll ever put in to leave the house. Frankly, just the battle to put on jeans overwhelms me on most days…pajamas should be acceptable forms of clothing in any situation!

So now I’ll be a hermit for the next week, or three. I don’t know if I’ll really make it that long in the boot since it’s been only two hours and I already want to bust free. But on the bright side, now I won’t cave in and eat Taco Bell.

True Friendship 2


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouVeryMuch 

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @shankyouheather 

Lola and I opened a store so we can hopefully cover the world in her Bulldog face, check it out at Shank You Very Much

 

The swirling cloud of doom…

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

Someone asked me recently who my best friend was. I was thrown for a loop because as an adult, having a single best friend seems oddly out-of-place. I have a “best friend” at every duty station the Navy has put us in. Heck, I have more than one in most places thanks to the revolving doors and endless moves we Navy wives make. Defining just one best friend would be impossible and would make everyone feel worse.

With Christmas coming, I’m not risking anyone’s ire.

That being said, I was inspired to create this by my recent futile attempts to save up the plane fare to visit a close friend before she lays waste to the West Coast in order to get me back on the East Coast. She warned me not to buy a house…I did. She warned me not to make any improvements to said house…I did. She warned me not to buy anything that wasn’t a dire necessity, even toilet paper was deemed extravagant…I did. But these faults should all be forgiven when she sees this:

Witty- True Friendship

Now, for everyone who is in the immediate area around me, you’ve got to be vigilant! A Heather without Taco Bell is a disaster waiting to happen. I can feel the grumpiness swirl around me in a cloud.

P.S. I made this meme on day 17 and decided to wait to post it because I wasn’t sure I’d make it through the weekend without getting my cheese fix. But I did it!


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouVeryMuch 

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @shankyouheather 

Lola and I opened a store so we can hopefully cover the world in her Bulldog face, check it out at Shank You Very Much


These are some great linkups that I participate in!

Domesticated Momster
Pink Pear Bear
3 Little Buttons
Mummascribbles
DIY Daddy Blog
Hannah Spannah
 Diary of An Imperfect Mum

Graham cracker muffins…

Tags

, , , ,

I don’t want to lie to you so there’s something I need to say. I took this recipe right off the box for the graham cracker crumbs. I know, you’re disappointed in me- I get it. Here’s the thing, you don’t mess with perfection. Those graham crackers make anyone happy, no matter your age- these muffins are no different. Except you feel like an adult eating them in public because apparently anyone over the age of five is supposed to lay off the crackers and eat an apple or a carrot stick- with no dressing.

Ugh.

Before we begin, I have a tip. You can smash the crackers up yourself or go to the baking aisle and find the already smashed crackers in a convenient box. It’s your decision based on your current stress level and need for rage release!

Ingredients
2 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
1/4 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1 egg
1 cup milk
2 TBSP honey

Utensils Needed
2 bowls & a wire whisk
Cupcake pan and liners

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Combine graham cracker crumbs, sugar, and baking powder into a bowl.
Combine egg, milk, and honey into a second bowl.
Slowly pour dry ingredient bowl into the wet bowl, slowly.
Mix until lightly moist.
Pour into cupcake liners and bake for 18 minutes.

Now its real talk time. This recipe makes 12 cupcake size muffins. So basically, enough for one person. I’d like to lie to you and tell you that it will feed yourself and three kids, but I already said at the start of the blog that I wouldn’t lie. Make the whole box of cracker crumbs. If you don’t, you will end up like me- snack time with three Littles and only a dozen muffins. The Littles inhaled them so quickly that everyone was left crying helplessly when the plate was empty. Including me.

Worst.Day.Ever.

Save yourself the agony, make the whole box.


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouVeryMuch 

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @shankyouheather 

Lola and I opened a store so we can hopefully cover the world in her Bulldog face, check it out at Shank You Very Much


These are some great linkups that I participate in!

Domesticated Momster
Pink Pear Bear
3 Little Buttons
Mummascribbles
DIY Daddy Blog
Hannah Spannah
 Diary of An Imperfect Mum

I’ve earned my time in the sin bin…

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , ,

The Hubster is a pretty resourceful person to have around the house. I’ve never noticed this in our 10 year marriage, thanks to a ridiculously high number of years spent on submarines. Now that I’m starting to get a sense of why the Navy always needs my husband to remain at work, they may never get him back! Aside from not having to touch the garbage any more, I’ve conned Hubster into unloading the dishwasher as a daily chore. To be honest, I did this more for my sanity than anything. I got very tired of having to tell Hubster where to find a cup or a spoon every time he returned from sea.

This weekend the Hubster went for the gold star on the chore chart and tackled those pesky smoke detectors in our home. While he was deployed I found out two of them didn’t even work, the scariest one being in our bedroom where I would have died of smoke inhalation while I slept. But not to worry, I now have state of the art smoke detectors that will wake the dead when they go off.

After testing all five of them, I’m pretty sure my hearing (what little remained) is officially gone. The noise was so intense that Lola had to hurl herself on the ground and shake uncontrollably until it ended. Which means in a fire I need to make doubly sure that Lola is evacuated. There is no way she would be able to power through the death tremors the smoke detectors caused. Even saying the word cheese didn’t elicit a response from her prone body that was jammed halfway under the couch.

I’ve also got the added benefit of alerts and monitoring on my phone. I’ll now get notified any time Lola decides to invite her friends over to learn fire dancing when I’m not home. (Don’t put it past her, who knows what she does when I’m not around!!)

All of this usefulness aside, the Hubster can still be annoying. For example, he doesn’t love bingeing on Netflix. After three hours, Hubster is ready to call it quits- while I’m just getting in the zone. And heaven forbid I watch on without him…which brings us to a new marriage Heatherism.

heatherism #33

The penalty box is also called the sin bin, and you know I’d have a smile on my face as I did my time. Hubster should watch his back…


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouVeryMuch 

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @shankyouheather 

Lola and I opened a store so we can hopefully cover the world in her Bulldog face, check it out at Shank You Very Much

Zazzle Promotion


These are some great linkups that I participate in!

Domesticated Momster
Pink Pear Bear
3 Little Buttons
Mummascribbles
DIY Daddy Blog
Hannah Spannah
Diary of An Imperfect Mum

The Nefarious Plans of the Bunnies…

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lola and I took a few days off social media this week in order to lay around the house like fat kids and pretend the country wasn’t going election crazy. The fence around our property is being replaced so there was a bunch of machinery here making noise and it traumatized us both into missing our daily nap. (And if you don’t take a daily nap, you should really give it a try. It’s wonderful!) There was also an hour where Lola had to bark each time she saw a worker. You know, just to let them know she’s got this place covered.

Longest hour of my life.

Then the bunnies came out last night to mess with Lola’s head. Without the barrier of a privacy fence, those bunnies were setting off the motion sensor lights all night. The front would light up, Lola barked and ran to the window. The side would light up next, Lola barked and ran to the other window. Then the back would light up as the bunnies frolicked so Lola was forced to bark and run to the back window. Seriously, those bunnies better watch out; Lola has a lot of pent-up rage and frustration to get out once the fence is complete.

Then came bed time and Lola did not get any relief from her job. The lights would come on outside our window and Lola would start to low growl a warning to the furry bunnies intent upon my death. Even when Lola managed to sleep, she must have been dreaming of bunnies and all their nefarious plans. Lola would kick frantically while yipping in her sleep.

Hubster managed to sleep through it all.

This morning I woke up with a bunny hangover and Lola barely managed to pee standing upright. I made it all better by putting Lola’s office bed into the dryer this morning to toast it. She is now snuggled up as I write and snoring loudly. I hope she gets some sleep, because we’ve got two companies coming to do work today and it’s going to be hectic.


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouVeryMuch 

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @shankyouheather 

Lola and I opened a store so we can hopefully cover the world in her Bulldog face, check it out at Shank You Very Much

 

Retail therapy, it solves everything…

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

For the past week I’ve been working my tail off on designs for my Zazzle store. I knew I couldn’t solve all of America’s election problems so I decided to make what little difference I could- retail therapy. I even started throwing in sales on election day just so people could come home and cry into their alcohol and order an adorable outfit for their baby or a wristwatch for themselves.

Zazzle Promotion

Check out my store by clicking on the photo above or click here. I’ll be adding new designs often so let me know if there’s anything specific you’d like me to create and I can get to work on it.

Hey, look at that, you read to the bottom of the post. Leave a comment on this post or share this post and tag me in it on social media. On Saturday morning I’ll pick a winner to receive a $10 gift certificate for my Zazzle store! See, good things come to those who wait (and read to the end of people’s posts).


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouVeryMuch 

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @shankyouheather 

Lola and I opened a store so we can hopefully cover the world in her Bulldog face, check it out at Shank You Very Much

 

Do something great today…

Tags

, , , , , , , , , ,

Sometimes I roll out of bed and wonder what I’m going to do for the day. I always have a huge list of things I want to accomplish, starting with finishing my book, but the list can become intimidating by the second hour I’ve been awake. This hour is where my confidence starts to lag and I think about watching TV or taking a nap.

But no more! I’ve got a new Heatherism and it will remind me that I can do something great everyday!

heatherism #32

So you get out there and do something great today- no one said the greatness couldn’t be food related!


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouVeryMuch 

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @shankyouheather 

Lola and I opened a store so we can hopefully cover the world in her Bulldog face, check it out at Shank You Very Much

It’s too much pumpkin…

Tags

, , , , , , ,

One month down, one month to go. Every year I cringe waiting for October and November to disappear, taking its nasty pumpkin smell with it. Thankfully, December rolls in with enough peppermint to sear my nasal passages and remove all traces of orange gourd smell.

Witty- pumpkin


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouVeryMuch 

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @shankyouheather 

Lola and I opened a store so we can hopefully cover the world in her Bulldog face, check it out at Shank You Very Much

Salad dressing so good, you’ll want to drink it…

Tags

, , , , ,

Today’s recipe is my absolute favorite salad dressing of all time- it can also be used as a dip for veggies or even potato chips. It is so delicious that I could drink it out of a bowl. Since I’m an adult, I’ll lie to you and tell you I’ve never done that, not ever…

Ingredients
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup sour cream
1/3 cup grated parmesan cheese
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 teaspoons milk
2 teaspoons black pepper
4 medium garlic gloves, finely chopped (I used a food processor)
1/2 teaspoon salt

Utensils Needed
Medium bowl
Whisk
Food processor, optional

Whisk all of the ingredients together and then refrigerate for 2 hours before serving.

Admit it, you thought making salad dressing from scratch was going to be harder, didn’t you?! Now go enjoy your dressing and don’t tell people if you end up licking the bowl clean, apparently society frowns on that once you pass the age of four.


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouVeryMuch 

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @shankyouheather 

Lola and I opened a store so we can hopefully cover the world in her Bulldog face, check it out at Shank You Very Much

 

When did I become an old woman…

Tags

, , , , , , , , , ,

While looking through Facebook this morning, I’ve come to a realization that shook my very soul. I’m an old woman. Seriously, I’m in mid-life. At 33 years old, I can no longer identify half the costumes that kids are picking out for Halloween this year. Sure, I can spot the big ones, Disney movies like Frozen, Finding Dory, Beauty and the Beast- but that’s Disney. Everyone watches a great Disney movie! I can identify all the characters from a comic book movie, as long as that comic existed when I was a kid.

What about all these other characters?! Why are there so many ninjas? Did I miss something and there were a million ninjas in a movie somewhere? This can’t be coincidence that there are so damn many ninjas roaming the streets tonight.

And just who is this Yo-Kai and Zootopia? I ask a kid what their costume is and I get some rambling answer where the only word I actually heard was Yo-Kai or Zootopia. And I don’t know what LazyTown is but it seems like the exact opposite name of something I’d want a little kid to watch. And why are they spelling it as one word? Are we preparing the preschoolers for Twitter hashtags?!

I’ve decided to embrace my old woman-ness and just tell everyone they look great while playing Wheel of Fortune on the TV in the background.


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouVeryMuch 

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @shankyouheather 

Lola and I opened a store so we can hopefully cover the world in her Bulldog face, check it out at Shank You Very Much