Poll Tuesday week 37…

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This poll is open from 6am Tuesday to noon on Thursday, London time. That is a 54 hour window to cast your vote. Look at me with my math skills!

Thanksgiving is creeping up on me with a speed that I’m a bit uncomfortable with. Frankly, I dread the turkey day. While most people are fighting over the bird, I’m dreaming of seeing a cow on my plate. Turkey is just not my favorite. I like dark meat, but it isn’t worth the trouble of trying to get it all. The small bones, the tiny slivers of meat that cling to them…I’m exhausted just thinking about it. Let’s not even think about how much sugar I will need to consume in order to wake up early enough to start cooking this bird that I didn’t want in the first place!

This Thanksgiving will be special.

My parents are coming for the holiday and with my mother’s presence comes a built-in cook. She’ll wrestle that bird in the oven while I lie on the couch and stare lifelessly at the Macy’s day parade. Mom will listen to her Christmas music as she bastes, I’ll be eating a waffle that I’ve pleaded with her to make since she is hanging out in the kitchen already. Then, when the bird is ready to be consumed, my mother will fight that previously feathered friend until the dark meat magically shows up on my plate for me to consume.

Before you think she’s a servant, I promise you my mother will be pampered.

I’m baking her a cake! A whole cake for her to enjoy until it is all gone. With help from me and my belly. And my dad. And Hubster. Because it’s her birthday… Yep, I’m making her cook me a feast on her birthday.

I can already feel the grim reaper looking for me.

Now head on over to my Twitter where we are voting on what part of Thanksgiving is your favorite!

Poll Tuesday


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:


These are the weekly link ups I participate in!

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Dream Team Linky #82

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Hhhhheeeeelllllooooo!!!!! I am so excited to be here! Today is my first every guest hosting of the #DreamTeam linky. Fellow bloggers know what that means, but I’m going to explain it quickly for my regular readers who don’t blog. Today the floodgates open and bloggers will be stopping by to post one of their writings on the internet wall. So check out the links below by clicking the blue rectangle with a frog on it. If any of the authors tickle you, give them a shout out on social media or in the comment section.

Each week that I host, I will select my favorite posts to be featured. You can find these the following week on Dawn’s linky along with a special Featured Blogger badge to use on your website. I’ll also be sharing this featured post across social media, someone cue the trumpets please!

Now, on to the rules. We must have at least a few rules or society will breakdown into complete chaos!

1. Add one post to the #DreamTeam linky, which goes live every Tuesday morning at 6am and will close on Thursday at 9pm, London time.

2. Add the #DreamTeam linky badge or a text link to the bottom of your linked up post. If you are adding this to a side/bottom bar or linky page, please do ensure this is clear to avoid being missed out of commenting.

3. Share your post on Twitter with the linky hashtag #DreamTeam. Tag in your hosts for retweets @HeatherKeet @3_LittleButtons  @BridieByTheSea

4. Please comment on each of the hosts linked posts PLUS the post directly before your own (a total of 4 posts as a minimum). If the post before your own does not carry the #DreamTeam badge or text link, you are not required to leave a comment.

5. Optional. Get into the party spirit and tweet/add comments to any additional posts you have really enjoyed. Other bloggers are more likely to return the favour if you do! It’s a #winwin all round. As hosts, we will aim to retweet your posts again as we read them, as long as you have included your twitter handle in your sharing buttons.

*By linking up, you are giving us permission to send you an email and/or tweet reminder for the #DreamTeam each week.

Annette, 3 Little ButtonsTwitter, Instagram, Facebook, You Tube.

Bridget, Bridie By The SeaTwitter, Instagram, Facebook, You Tube.

Dawn, Rhyming With WineTwitter, Instagram, Facebook.

Nicola, All Things SplicedTwitter, Instagram, Facebook.

Heather, Shank You Very Much – Twitter, InstagramInstaFacebook, Store

Shank You Very Much
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Dear Lola – Not feeling the fun…

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Dear Lola,

Why do Americans call the tiny versions of a candy bar a “fun size” bar? What makes it fun? I don’t understand if it is the small size that makes it fun, or some other attribute we in Scotland have never been able to experience. I know you’re an English Bulldog, but I’m hoping your adopted home of America will lend you some insight into this odd naming of candy.

Sincerely,
Not Feeling the Fun in Fife

Dear Lola

Dear Not Feeling the Fun in Fife,

While I have spent many hours pondering the odd workings of human behavior, I have never pondered this curiosity before you posed the question. I’m also very afraid of chocolate because Mommybeast tells me it will kill me, while using her very serious tone that brooks no argument from me. I’ll never stop asking for cheese though, she never gets her serious tone out when I eat that!

Back to the matter at hand though! The name of these tiny candy bars is definitely an oxymoron. While that explains the verbiage, I suspect you want to know why someone would choose an oxymoron when naming a candy.

For that, we must blame the Hominid Wrangler.

(Note from Lola’s Mommybeast: a Hominid Wrangler is the parent of a human child, or as she calls them, Miniature Humans.)

The fun size candy bar was named thusly so Miniature Humans are fooled into thinking the small bar is far superior to the “regular” candy bar sitting just next to it on the shelf. Instead of eating a boring candy bar, the Miniature Human will naturally gravitate to the fun candy bar. The Hominid Wrangler gets three benefits from this con artistry.

First, Hominid Wranglers don’t have to tell their Miniature Humans no. Hominid Wranglers can confidently say yes to the tiny candy with all the glee that my Mommybeast displays as she tosses cheese towards my face. During my observations, I’ve noticed that Hominid Wranglers are bound by a clause where they can only use the word no in extreme cases where death may result. It seems counterintuitive to my own species’ technique of teaching. My guess is that humans have not evolved far enough yet. Be patient, your time will come.

Second, Hominid Wranglers get to save a bit of money. Unlike a luxuriously priced regular candy bar, the fun size candy is much more economical. This is a necessity because the Miniature Human will see a balloon later in the day and screech for it until everyone around them wants to poke their ears out just to make the noise stop. Save your ears, buy the fun size candy.

Third, the Hominid Wrangler will not have to contend with a vicious sugar high as a result of the meager sized candy bar. While that initial sugar high seems like a party, the Miniature Human will eventually come crashing down with a bang. Then the Hominid Wrangler is left with a screaming Miniature Human who suddenly forgot how to work their legs, arms, and ears.

This all leaves me wondering if Miniature Humans are worth all the effort one must expend to make sure they turn out properly. Well, that’s a topic for another day!

♥Lola♥

Send Lola your questions in the comments, or by clicking one of my social media links below!


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:

Poll Tuesday week 36…

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This poll is open from 6am Tuesday to noon on Thursday, London time. That is a 54 hour window to cast your vote. Look at me with my math skills!

Lola feels like I have been remiss in talking about her on this blog recently. Never mind the fact that I’ve dedicated an entire category to her English Bulldog hijinks. Instead, Lola is blaming me for her extended naps on the couch in lieu of providing me with blogging material, and I’m too tired to fight her about it.

They say not to give in to your children’s wild demands, but that’s a lot of effort.

So, this week we’ll be voting on the things you refuse to fight with your kids about – whether they are canine or human kids. Head on over to my Twitter profile and cast your vote! @HeatherKeet

Poll Tuesday


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:


These are the weekly link ups I participate in!

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Calling all bloggers, don’t be a link dropper…

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In the blogging world most of us are familiar with the link up, or linky as some of us call them. It’s a dedicated space for bloggers to showcase their favorite work and find new bloggers to interact with. You get great exposure, find new readers, and hopefully establish a friendship with someone else.

Almost every linky has a few rules, mostly about the proper etiquette we should follow – posting a badge to your chosen post so the linky host gets some credit for their work, and commenting on a specified number of posts left by other bloggers. Most of the bloggers I know actually follow these rules, lest they find themselves a pariah of the linky community. Maybe even banned from all future linkys thanks to multiple tools of the internet. However, there are other types of bloggers.

The Link Droppers.

Link droppers do just what their name leads you to believe. They drop a link. That’s it.

Link droppers don’t put a badge on their post, which is the equivalent of the middle finger held up high towards the linky host who is dedicating hours of hard work just to make sure we all get a little more publicity for ourselves. Link droppers also decline to comment on other posts, which is a flat-out “fuck you” to their fellow bloggers. They can’t be bothered to read other blogger’s work because they are just too important for all that.

Bad Blogger

If you’re a new blogger and you want to join in with linkys, don’t be a link dropper. Add those badges before you take advantage of a host who is offering up her readership to you in hopes your writing will be seen by more people. Seasoned bloggers are more than happy to help you learn how to add badges to your posts, which is admittedly a daunting task to new bloggers. We are also very understanding as we have all forgotten to comment on a post or three during a busy week. Just make your apologies and comment on a few extra posts the next week.

The blogging community is tight-knit, we know who the link droppers are and we don’t take too kindly to their insults. Please don’t be one of them.


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:


These are the weekly link ups I participate in!

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Walnut chocolate chip cookies…

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Recipe

A few weeks ago I taunted my Instagram followers with videos of my baking. This resulted in multiple messages of people who could no longer live in a world where they had to watch me bake a cookie…and eat it on video. Head on over to my Instagram to see the videos that go with this recipe. Now, without further adieu, I give you the recipe for a cookie that will make your stomach sing with delight.

Walnut Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ingredients
2 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 cup unsalted butter, room temp. (if using salted butter, eliminate salt from recipe)
3/4 cup granulated white sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 eggs
2 cups chocolate chips (I prefer dark or semisweet chips)
2 cups chopped walnuts

Utensils Needed
Large bowl
Mixer & flat beater
Measuring cups & spoons
Ice cream scoop
Parchment paper
Baking Pans
Cooling racks

food- chocolate chip cookie-2

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Combine flour, baking soda, and salt into large bowl and set aside.
Add butter to mixing bowl and mix until creamy.
Add white sugar and brown sugar to butter, mixing until smooth.
Add eggs, one at a time, mixing until well-blended.
Add vanilla extract.
Retrieve bowl with flour mixture and begin adding to the mixing bowl slowly. Blend well between additions.
Once mixture is fully blended, add chocolate chips and walnuts to mixing bowl. Blend carefully, your bowl will be heavy at this point.
Place parchment paper on baking sheets. Use an ice cream scoop to spoon cookie dough on the paper, leaving about 2 inches between scoops of dough.
Bake for 9-11 minutes, the center should be slightly underdone.
Allow cookies to remain on hot pan for another 2 minutes and then move them to a cooling rack.

Superhero Tip: you can substitute another favorite nut in place of walnuts. I am a huge fan of the macadamia nut, thanks to my Hawai’i birthplace. If I use macadamia nuts, I usually substitute the chocolate chips for white chocolate.

Second Superhero Tip: instead of using chocolate chips in the dough, melt the chocolate and drizzle it over the cookies once they are finished baking. It tastes delicious and makes you look like a professional!

food- Chocolate Chip Cookie


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:


These are the weekly link ups I participate in!

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Poll Tuesday week 35…

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This poll is open from 6am Tuesday to noon on Thursday, London time. That is a 54 hour window to cast your vote. Look at me with my math skills!

I’m trying to get myself into the Christmas spirit early this year. Thanks to my procrastination last year, I ended up spending almost $300 on shipping in order to get all the presents delivered on time. This early Christmas cheer has led me to wonder if this is what everyone ends up doing as they age.

When I was young I wouldn’t have cared if the Christmas gifts were just a day or five late!

However, my older and wiser self has decided to be kind to my wallet and get a move on. I’ve been wrapping presents for a week and I’ve gotten almost all my shopping done. I feel so accomplished that I don’t know what I’ll do with myself come December 1st.

I guess I’ll have no choice but to sit on the couch all day and watch Christmas movies.

So, head on over to Twitter and vote in my poll. Let me know I’m not alone in this race to the green tree.

Poll Tuesday


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:


These are the weekly link ups I participate in!

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I’ll just have the salad…

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Fat Kid Physical

I am not ashamed to admit that I am a fat kid. I have worked very hard to earn the accolades that come with my status. I frequently impress people with my skills at mimicking a statue for hours on end – with only my eyes moving as I track the tv screen. I have also been commended on my ability to eat foods that would lay out the average human – like a deep-fried Oreo. While everyone else could feel their arteries clogging, I was plotting how many I could eat before I died.

I stopped at two because I got nervous that no one would be on hand to do CPR if things went wrong.

Lately though I’ve been peer pressured into visiting my doctor since I haven’t had a physical in a few years. Before you jump all over me, I have been to many, many doctors in those three years. Once when my appendix tried to murder me in my sleep – I’m still a bit bummed they wouldn’t let me see if after it was removed. I also visited the doctor about a dozen times before my gallbladder made its final attempt on my life and they decided to yank that organ out. Once again, they wouldn’t let me see it, they acted as if I might try to steal it to display in a jar to freak people out or something…

I made the appointment to visit my primary doctor and then I had a moment of panic.

What if my rugged lifestyle was leading me towards diabetes and heart problems? Would the doctor make me give up my beloved bacon and cake? If my cholesterol wasn’t perfect would the doctor snatch the very precious cheese out of my hands? Would I be forced onto a salad diet, dressing on the side?! I can’t be one of those people! I can’t, I won’t!

Why didn’t I take better care of my body?!?! WHY?!!

I had no need to worry. I can now tell anyone who cares to listen that my body is a ridiculously well-tuned machine. All my labs came back excellent except for that bastard Vitamin D. I get a pass on that one though, practically everyone in WA state is deficient thanks to our lack of sunlight. The doctor was thrilled that she didn’t have to give me her “you are about to develop a serious disease and die” speech that makes people cry.

Someone bring me a deep-fried Oreo! I’ll also take some cake if you’ve got it!


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:


These are the weekly link ups I participate in!

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Poll Tuesday week 34…

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This poll is open from 6am Tuesday to noon on Thursday, London time. That is a 54 hour window to cast your vote. Look at me with my math skills!

Last week I asked you all to prove that I’m still young and you did it! I now have definitive proof that mortgages, Saturday night TV, and using forks mean absolutely nothing. Apparently, we are all faking adulthood and hoping no one else notices.

Like that kid who covers her eyes and yells “You can’t see me!”

This week you will be asked to weigh in on the best part of a having significant other in your life. I promise you will giggle.

Go vote!

Poll Tuesday


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:


These are the weekly link ups I participate in!

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Just look normal for once…

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I’ve been scrolling back through my social media posts, just to check if my sanity is plunging downward or holding a steady course. It’s always a bit of a nail biter to see if this is the day that I ask the Hubster to do something about my eccentricities. If I were rich I could just build myself a theme park and ride roller coasters with Lola all day. However, as a starving artist dependent upon the outside world for survival, I must continue to try to look as normal as possible.

Frankly, I can’t tell if I’m getting weirder or the rest of you are.

I’ll let you decide for yourself.

Canada

This post seems pretty normal. Well, if you ignore the fact that I may or may not think an entire country could have burned to the ground.

Napping Sport

This is definitely getting slightly weird. However, in my defense, napping really should be a sport. Imagine if I could participate in the Olympics – the 100 hour nap competition. It would be amazing!

Ketchup

Well, depending on how you look at this, it’s weird behavior. Though one could argue that it’s not actually weird behavior that causes this, it’s laziness. Cooking is hard work and ketchup is not. Yeah. That’s the story I’m going with.

Superhero Name

Alright. You win. I’m getting weirder by the day…if not the minute.

I’m not calling it yet though, maybe I’ve just had a few slightly odd weeks. I’m blaming this on Halloween and full moons. And popcorn. I ate way too much popcorn in the past two months and it’s obviously affecting my social media posts.


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:


These are the weekly link ups I participate in!

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