Poll Tuesday week 36…

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This poll is open from 6am Tuesday to noon on Thursday, London time. That is a 54 hour window to cast your vote. Look at me with my math skills!

Lola feels like I have been remiss in talking about her on this blog recently. Never mind the fact that I’ve dedicated an entire category to her English Bulldog hijinks. Instead, Lola is blaming me for her extended naps on the couch in lieu of providing me with blogging material, and I’m too tired to fight her about it.

They say not to give in to your children’s wild demands, but that’s a lot of effort.

So, this week we’ll be voting on the things you refuse to fight with your kids about – whether they are canine or human kids. Head on over to my Twitter profile and cast your vote! @HeatherKeet

Poll Tuesday


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:

 

Advertisements

Calling all bloggers, don’t be a link dropper…

Tags

, , , , , , , , , ,

In the blogging world most of us are familiar with the link up, or linky as some of us call them. It’s a dedicated space for bloggers to showcase their favorite work and find new bloggers to interact with. You get great exposure, find new readers, and hopefully establish a friendship with someone else.

Almost every linky has a few rules, mostly about the proper etiquette we should follow – posting a badge to your chosen post so the linky host gets some credit for their work, and commenting on a specified number of posts left by other bloggers. Most of the bloggers I know actually follow these rules, lest they find themselves a pariah of the linky community. Maybe even banned from all future linkys thanks to multiple tools of the internet. However, there are other types of bloggers.

The Link Droppers.

Link droppers do just what their name leads you to believe. They drop a link. That’s it.

Link droppers don’t put a badge on their post, which is the equivalent of the middle finger held up high towards the linky host who is dedicating hours of hard work just to make sure we all get a little more publicity for ourselves. Link droppers also decline to comment on other posts, which is a flat-out “fuck you” to their fellow bloggers. They can’t be bothered to read other blogger’s work because they are just too important for all that.

Bad Blogger

If you’re a new blogger and you want to join in with linkys, don’t be a link dropper. Add those badges before you take advantage of a host who is offering up her readership to you in hopes your writing will be seen by more people. Seasoned bloggers are more than happy to help you learn how to add badges to your posts, which is admittedly a daunting task to new bloggers. We are also very understanding as we have all forgotten to comment on a post or three during a busy week. Just make your apologies and comment on a few extra posts the next week.

The blogging community is tight-knit, we know who the link droppers are and we don’t take too kindly to their insults. Please don’t be one of them.


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:


These are the weekly link ups I participate in!

Image HTML map generator

 

Walnut chocolate chip cookies…

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Recipe

A few weeks ago I taunted my Instagram followers with videos of my baking. This resulted in multiple messages of people who could no longer live in a world where they had to watch me bake a cookie…and eat it on video. Head on over to my Instagram to see the videos that go with this recipe. Now, without further adieu, I give you the recipe for a cookie that will make your stomach sing with delight.

Walnut Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ingredients
2 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 cup unsalted butter, room temp. (if using salted butter, eliminate salt from recipe)
3/4 cup granulated white sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 eggs
2 cups chocolate chips (I prefer dark or semisweet chips)
2 cups chopped walnuts

Utensils Needed
Large bowl
Mixer & flat beater
Measuring cups & spoons
Ice cream scoop
Parchment paper
Baking Pans
Cooling racks

food- chocolate chip cookie-2

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Combine flour, baking soda, and salt into large bowl and set aside.
Add butter to mixing bowl and mix until creamy.
Add white sugar and brown sugar to butter, mixing until smooth.
Add eggs, one at a time, mixing until well-blended.
Add vanilla extract.
Retrieve bowl with flour mixture and begin adding to the mixing bowl slowly. Blend well between additions.
Once mixture is fully blended, add chocolate chips and walnuts to mixing bowl. Blend carefully, your bowl will be heavy at this point.
Place parchment paper on baking sheets. Use an ice cream scoop to spoon cookie dough on the paper, leaving about 2 inches between scoops of dough.
Bake for 9-11 minutes, the center should be slightly underdone.
Allow cookies to remain on hot pan for another 2 minutes and then move them to a cooling rack.

Superhero Tip: you can substitute another favorite nut in place of walnuts. I am a huge fan of the macadamia nut, thanks to my Hawai’i birthplace. If I use macadamia nuts, I usually substitute the chocolate chips for white chocolate.

Second Superhero Tip: instead of using chocolate chips in the dough, melt the chocolate and drizzle it over the cookies once they are finished baking. It tastes delicious and makes you look like a professional!

food- Chocolate Chip Cookie


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:


These are the weekly link ups I participate in!

Image HTML map generator

 

Poll Tuesday week 35…

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This poll is open from 6am Tuesday to noon on Thursday, London time. That is a 54 hour window to cast your vote. Look at me with my math skills!

I’m trying to get myself into the Christmas spirit early this year. Thanks to my procrastination last year, I ended up spending almost $300 on shipping in order to get all the presents delivered on time. This early Christmas cheer has led me to wonder if this is what everyone ends up doing as they age.

When I was young I wouldn’t have cared if the Christmas gifts were just a day or five late!

However, my older and wiser self has decided to be kind to my wallet and get a move on. I’ve been wrapping presents for a week and I’ve gotten almost all my shopping done. I feel so accomplished that I don’t know what I’ll do with myself come December 1st.

I guess I’ll have no choice but to sit on the couch all day and watch Christmas movies.

So, head on over to Twitter and vote in my poll. Let me know I’m not alone in this race to the green tree.

Poll Tuesday


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:

 

I’ll just have the salad…

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

Fat Kid Physical

I am not ashamed to admit that I am a fat kid. I have worked very hard to earn the accolades that come with my status. I frequently impress people with my skills at mimicking a statue for hours on end – with only my eyes moving as I track the tv screen. I have also been commended on my ability to eat foods that would lay out the average human – like a deep-fried Oreo. While everyone else could feel their arteries clogging, I was plotting how many I could eat before I died.

I stopped at two because I got nervous that no one would be on hand to do CPR if things went wrong.

Lately though I’ve been peer pressured into visiting my doctor since I haven’t had a physical in a few years. Before you jump all over me, I have been to many, many doctors in those three years. Once when my appendix tried to murder me in my sleep – I’m still a bit bummed they wouldn’t let me see if after it was removed. I also visited the doctor about a dozen times before my gallbladder made its final attempt on my life and they decided to yank that organ out. Once again, they wouldn’t let me see it, they acted as if I might try to steal it to display in a jar to freak people out or something…

I made the appointment to visit my primary doctor and then I had a moment of panic.

What if my rugged lifestyle was leading me towards diabetes and heart problems? Would the doctor make me give up my beloved bacon and cake? If my cholesterol wasn’t perfect would the doctor snatch the very precious cheese out of my hands? Would I be forced onto a salad diet, dressing on the side?! I can’t be one of those people! I can’t, I won’t!

Why didn’t I take better care of my body?!?! WHY?!!

I had no need to worry. I can now tell anyone who cares to listen that my body is a ridiculously well-tuned machine. All my labs came back excellent except for that bastard Vitamin D. I get a pass on that one though, practically everyone in WA state is deficient thanks to our lack of sunlight. The doctor was thrilled that she didn’t have to give me her “you are about to develop a serious disease and die” speech that makes people cry.

Someone bring me a deep-fried Oreo! I’ll also take some cake if you’ve got it!


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:


These are the weekly link ups I participate in!

Image HTML map generator

 

Poll Tuesday week 34…

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This poll is open from 6am Tuesday to noon on Thursday, London time. That is a 54 hour window to cast your vote. Look at me with my math skills!

Last week I asked you all to prove that I’m still young and you did it! I now have definitive proof that mortgages, Saturday night TV, and using forks mean absolutely nothing. Apparently, we are all faking adulthood and hoping no one else notices.

Like that kid who covers her eyes and yells “You can’t see me!”

This week you will be asked to weigh in on the best part of a having significant other in your life. I promise you will giggle.

Go vote!

Poll Tuesday


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:

 

Just look normal for once…

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

I’ve been scrolling back through my social media posts, just to check if my sanity is plunging downward or holding a steady course. It’s always a bit of a nail biter to see if this is the day that I ask the Hubster to do something about my eccentricities. If I were rich I could just build myself a theme park and ride roller coasters with Lola all day. However, as a starving artist dependent upon the outside world for survival, I must continue to try to look as normal as possible.

Frankly, I can’t tell if I’m getting weirder or the rest of you are.

I’ll let you decide for yourself.

Canada

This post seems pretty normal. Well, if you ignore the fact that I may or may not think an entire country could have burned to the ground.

Napping Sport

This is definitely getting slightly weird. However, in my defense, napping really should be a sport. Imagine if I could participate in the Olympics – the 100 hour nap competition. It would be amazing!

Ketchup

Well, depending on how you look at this, it’s weird behavior. Though one could argue that it’s not actually weird behavior that causes this, it’s laziness. Cooking is hard work and ketchup is not. Yeah. That’s the story I’m going with.

Superhero Name

Alright. You win. I’m getting weirder by the day…if not the minute.

I’m not calling it yet though, maybe I’ve just had a few slightly odd weeks. I’m blaming this on Halloween and full moons. And popcorn. I ate way too much popcorn in the past two months and it’s obviously affecting my social media posts.


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:


These are the weekly link ups I participate in!

Image HTML map generator

 

The iPhone X is here…

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

My palms were sweaty, my heart was racing, my hands were aching with the intensity with which I was gripping them together. As the clock neared 12:01am, my excitement reached a new high…

iPhone X

When I was 16 I was desperately in love with ‘N Sync. You may remember this boy band of the 90s because it launched a superstar, Justin Timberlake. Here’s the thing about getting tickets to a concert in Hawai’i – it’s the absolute worst. Big names rarely ever made it to us for a concert. Apparently flying a whole mess of people and equipment to the island was expensive and impractical – but we islanders were supposed to feel blessed because we lived in paradise.

Little comfort to the teens who were stuck in school all day long!

Worse than the ticket prices was the absolute mayhem at the ticket booths! Before internet ticket purchases became a thing, you had to actually sleep at the ticket booth in order to get seats. Sometimes we would get lucky and the performer would add a second concert, but that was extremely rare – those musicians always wanted to vacation when they visited our state.

‘N Sync was my concert unicorn.

After a blow out fight with my parents over the fact that they thought school was more important that my missing a few days to sleep in the line for tickets, I had given up hope of seeing ‘N Sync with my very own eyes.

Unbeknownst to me – I had decided I must have been the child no one wanted due to their callousness towards me – my parents had sent an adult into ticket hell as a surprise. On the night of my 16th birthday, my friend Crystal came shrieking into the room. She grabbed me and shook me so hard that I still hear a weird rattle in my head when I move suddenly.  Crystal’s father had managed to not only get us tickets, but to ensure they were right up front and center.

Last night, at midnight, I got to experience the agony that two sets of parents must have felt all those years ago.

The iPhone X was my new unicorn.

I was on the Apple website, frantically clicking the refresh button. Each time I saw the notice that the Apple store was temporarily down, I panicked a little more. You see, I had made the decision to forgo trying to score a phone through my mobile company. I had heard horror stories about fulfillment and website crashes. I had also decided to buy my phone in full instead of trying to get a payment plan spread out over a few years, those few extra steps may be the difference between a phone this year or next. As the Apple store remained down, I wondered if I had made a terrible error.

I was desperately wishing a parent would step in to save the day.

By 12:03am, I was in a full-blown panic. At this point I was committed, AT&T would be a zoo and people on Twitter were already complaining of ship dates in December. I kept hitting the refresh button while rubbing my eyes…because of dust in the air, not because I was hysterical over the potential loss of my new iPhone. (Go ahead and insert your massive eye roll here.)

Then it all began to change. Apple’s website came back to life. I was in! All of my careful calculations paid off. My phone is in the first round of shipping, I’ll meet it next week and hopefully establish that I am in charge.

As I sat back and unclenched my jaw for the first time in an hour, I realized that the revolution may have already started and I was too excited to notice.

Robot Final Upgrade

To everyone who wasn’t as lucky in getting their hands on the iPhone X, I do have some words of comfort. The people in the farthest back row of the ‘N Sync concert still had fun.

I mean, not as much fun as me, but….

 


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:


These are the weekly link ups I participate in!

Image HTML map generator

 

Poll Tuesday week 33…

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This poll is open from 6am Tuesday to noon on Thursday, London time. That is a 54 hour window to cast your vote. Look at me with my math skills!

This week’s poll will either scare you silly or reassure you. I’ve noticed a few traits lately that leave me with a queasy feeling that I’m officially an adult. I was hoping your votes would prove me wrong.

Please prove me wrong.

I don’t want to be an adult. Adults have to take stuff seriously. Adults can’t lie in bed all day while pretending to not hear someone shouting for assistance with the dishes. Adults can’t ignore the laundry pile because eventually they run of out underwear, and there is no laundry fairy to the rescue. I actually verified this as fact this morning, right after I realized I had no underwear. Luckily, adults don’t always put their laundry away and I was saved by a hidden basket of clean clothes that my adult eyes have been purposely avoiding, for fear of having to fold them.

Adults can’t call their mommy and ask her to write a note saying you can’t come to life today because you’re feeling poorly. I asked my mom today and she said no.

Crap, I’m probably an adult by now.

Cast your vote and make me feel young again!

Poll Tuesday


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:

 

How to successfully distribute the marital snack supplies…

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

Snacks

I read a shocking news article about a lady (we’re calling her Linda) who lit a car on fire in a McDonald’s parking lot. Now, before you blame a poor fast food worker for Linda’s rage, I will mention that the car belonged to her husband (we’re just calling him Husband because Fucking Moron seems slightly harsh). I know there will be people who immediately discount Linda as crazy, but I think you need to understand the subtle nuances at play in this story before drawing conclusions. Linda’s been through a horrible ordeal, one I hope never befalls any of you.

Linda’s husband wouldn’t buy her a McFlurry.

For those of you who have never been to a McDonald’s (wow, where do you live?!) a McFlurry is not just your ordinary milkshake. It is a delicious blend of soft serve ice cream and candy pieces. In succinct terms, it’s Nirvana in a cup.

Naturally, Linda did the only thing she could do. She lit her husband’s car on fire to make it clear that snacks are a hard limit in their marriage. Since this was probably not the first time Linda has been bitterly disappointed in Husband, I’ve been contemplating a few likely scenarios that led to this final, fiery outburst.

1) Poor Linda had just fasted for three days in preparation of a medical procedure. A medical procedure that was deemed unnecessary at the last-minute, leaving Linda hangry for days for no reason. Linda was so overcome by Husband’s refusal of a dessert, she lashed out on the only thing he loved more than her. Well, I hope this is the only thing Husband loves more than her because Linda’s shown she can be vicious when necessary.

witty- alter ego

2) Linda was experiencing pregnancy cravings but Husband was like “Hell no, we got a kid coming. We need to be frugal. Order off the $1 menu.” Silly Husband. You never argue with a pregnant person – survival of the fittest should have eliminated this Husband from the gene pool. Linda, so infuriated at Husband’s arguing over the cravings of a fetus, decided to show him what the rest of the pregnancy would be like.

Husband better run fast, run far, and never look back…that’s usually when you trip and the person chasing you catches up.

3) Husband was a big fat jerk. He got the cars, the video games, the clothes, and the TV remote. The McFlurry was the only thing Linda had until he refused it. Linda decided to burn it all down, starting with the nearest item. Husband better get home quickly, because Linda isn’t finished with you yet. The video games are going to get it next!!

All joking aside, the Hubster better not turn down my request for a snack because I took notes…

Candy Ice Cream


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below:


These are the weekly link ups I participate in!

Image HTML map generator