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Lola and I had a kersnuffle today. That’s a term we like to use in polite company.

It has been hotter than hell here in Washington state. And before all you people start complaining that it is much hotter where you are, we’d both like you to take a shut the hell up pill.

Lola and I adore the winter.

We have never once posted “come on summer, get here” on our social media. We have never said “man, it’s so cold, where’s the sun” like morons. We never ever want to see the sun or feel the heat of a summer. We’re a bit like vampires I guess. Either way, if you ever wished for warmer weather on social media, we’d like you to go shank yourself – you brought this plague to us both.

So, one fat kid and one English bulldog are trying to stay alive with no air conditioner because Navy housing forbids them. I asked for permission to install, they denied it. Since I live right near their building they’d see it if I went rogue and installed something without permission. Not to mention the electric bill that we cannot afford since we get penalized when we use more than the neighbors.

I did try to get all my neighbors on board to get their own AC units, that way when the bills came out they would see us all using the same amount of electricity. It didn’t work out and I’m not happy about it.

So back to the kersnuffle.

I wanted Lola to move away from me. She wanted me to move away from her. Neither one of us fat kids wanted to do the actual moving because it was just too hot. I pushed Lola and she decided it was time to lay down the law. She climbed onto my lap and sat her fat butt down. I pushed her off and moved a few inches over.

Lola was officially pissed off at me for moving her.

She shimmied (and that was a sight to watch, a bulldog shimmy!) over to me and placed her whole body against my leg. I scooted over a few inches more. Lola then got up and tried to sit on me again.

I’m smarter than I look.

I move to sit on my computer chair. Lola walks away. I win… maybe.

What the hell is that smell?!?!

Lola had left behind a present. It was silent, deadly and lingered for a hell of a long time.

Lola basking in the sunshine on her body

It’s a good thing she’s cute!!


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

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Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much