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For the first time, in my 31 years on this earth, there will be a Sonic within 10 minutes of my home. The closest I have ever lived to a Sonic, thus far, has been an hour. An hour is really far to drive. Don’t get me wrong, I drove to it just to eat there, but it is far.

But now the Sonic will be in my backyard and I sense corn dogs whenever I want them. With those stupid shakes that are so addicting you can’t even make a decision. I mean, who has hundreds of flavors of shakes on their menu?!?! Are they trying to cause fat kid heart attacks from the anxiety caused by trying to pick?!?!

The Hubster is dreading this opening.

And let’s not forget the fact that they are opening this establishment near a Navy base. A place where women (and men) are left alone while their spouse deploys and who may have friends that suck big time and may not want to go to dinner with them. And eating alone immediately brands you a “less fortunate” by society. Now I’m not saying society is right, but you know it’s true. AND you know you’ve thought it at least once in your life.

Sonic is the perfect solution. Instead of eating drive thru that has cooled past the point of edible by the time you get home, you can instead eat in your car like a happy fat kid.


Your cute English Bulldog can sit on the passenger seat with her mouth open.

Hot food, no one judging AND if you spill, no biggie, you’re in your car where no one can spot your faux pas. Except the chick on skates. She is judging you like crazy. And she looks good on the skates.

Dammit, even Sonic will have to be driven home now…

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