Today I went over to a friend’s house to return a stroller that I had borrowed. I hadn’t let my friend know I was coming because I’m sneaky like that. As I drove up to the house, I noticed her van was gone. I sat in my car, puzzled. She runs a home daycare and…
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Oh no, don’t panic, it’s ok, no, nope, it’s not okay…
You know how you have those moments, and by moments I mean hours, where you feel like one wrong move and you’re going to vomit? Yeah. It happened to me last night. The Hubster woke me up yesterday morning, well before my normal wake up time. Needless to say, I was very fatigued by the time…
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Thoughts from an English bulldog…
I cannot believe I am awake right now. What is it, 5am? What the heck is the problem here? Humans wake up, humans take showers, Lola’s continue to sleep. I mean, how hard is it to keep it down in the morning?! Those humans are so discourteous as they get ready for work. I wish there were a squirrel…
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Sophistication, thy name is Heather…
So today I am having another elegant event. I’ve been planning it for a few weeks and have put a lot of thought into it. The ladies are coming over and we’re going to have finger foods and appetizers like the dignified ladies we are. We’ll have some wine, maybe a little iced tea with…
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Who had a great weekend…
I know I sure did! Saturday I got to eat a ton of sushi and then I thought I would die. Then I ate Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. And I knew I was going to die. So I sat around in fat kid glory on Sunday and Monday. In my pajamas. And played with…
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I feel like a Tyrannosaurus Rex…
This past weekend I had to perform jungle warfare on my back lawn. We had some flooding and the leasing office told us to cease and desist our mowing until they could fix the yard. I guess they took one look at me and decided I would try to swim in the puddles that had…
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Today’s a big day….
It’s my birthday! Yay to getting older. I can’t wait to hit my senile years just so I can mouth off and know people will blame my age. The Hubster asked what I wanted to do to celebrate and I am torn between going to the Big Apple Diner (because greasy diner food is delicious)…
Read MoreWell, I have to do something…
I found a dent in my skull. Obviously, I suffered some form of trauma in my childhood. I have several theories on how this happened and none of them paint my mother in a flattering light. My first theory is related to my Top Gun obsession. I was born in the early 1980s and I…
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Drop the pitchforks….
Hope everyone had a great Shank You Sunday, I know I did! I enjoyed a lovely breakfast I didn’t have to cook. Then I followed that up with cleaning the house, always a pleasure. Then I folded seven very large loads of laundry. Yeah, you’re right, it shanked. The only good thing was the breakfast…
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It was the fat kid Olympics…
Recent Internet search terms to find my blog have been quite hysterical. Hopefully some people who were searching found their come to Jesus moment and realized my blog is their long-lost home. To start off we had a funny and her bladder let go search. That person has undoubtedly come to the realization that they share commonality…
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Shank You Very Much 