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Internet search terms, I love them so much. They can either cut you to the bone or lift your spirits up. Here are some of the recent searches that have found my blog:

classy girl (Yes, yes I am. Well, maybe. What’s your definition of classy? I mean, Twinkies are definitely classy, right?)

classy ladies (And now it’s confirmed, I’m obviously classy. Two search terms?!? You can’t deny it. Now fetch me a Twinkie, butler man!)

can i feed my adult english bulldog chub rolls of meat (I have no idea where you are going with this. Is the bulldog full of chub? Is the meat full of chub? Why is the word chub just tossed in there randomly?!?! And if the chub is referring to the Bulldog then I’m going to go with no, do not feed it more meat. Feed it some veggies or something.)

shankyouwerrymuch (I feel like this is “The Chinese Woman” episode of Seinfeld.)

twinkies, where to buy them (Well, NOT at the Navy base commissary or exchanges!! Because those f_kers are definitely not selling them any longer. Stupid culture of fitness, it’s ruining the lives of Navy wives everywhere! Sorry, I get dramatic over the loss of Twinkies.)

shan king siton (So, the closest thing I could come to figuring out this term is the Shan King rail stop in China -OR- someone is toying with me and this is really shanking to sin when you unscramble the letters. Either way, I’m stumped on what you were looking for and hope you found something on my blog to laugh about. Like this:

Witty- shart

shank english bulldog (What the fuck?!?! Get off my blog. We don’t shank English Bulldogs around here, they shank you!)

baby wipes on a dogs stupid face (Use unscented. Just listen to me. If you use scented your English Bulldog will pee on the carpet in outrage after desperately attempting to peel her face off on the carpet. I know these things from experience when I accidentally grabbed a daycare kid’s wipes instead of Lola’s. And she reminds me every goddamn day of my mistake. I want better for you, my blog reader.)


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather 

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather 

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much

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