So my Big Little is no more.
Wait, wait, wait, don’t get squirrelly on me. She just had to move to her new duty station, she isn’t dead. I had that baby for 18 months, from her wee state at 6 weeks of age, and I miss her terribly. It definitely helps that her mom and I are friends so I know we’ll always be in touch. (As long as we both stick to our own cheese plates… I’m looking at you, Jessica!)
So, Big Little’s mom sends me a picture of my darling Little on the potty, just finishing and putting the toilet paper in. And the conversation goes a little like this:
Me: I guess all the bathroom observation I had to tolerate was worth it, her technique is flawless!
Jessica: I know, she even goes front to back.
Me: Is this considered child porn??!?!
Jessica: NO !!!
(At this point I feel I should mention that the Little was only showing tummy, everything vital was covered up. But honestly, it won’t be long before some overzealous prosecutor says any naked skin on any part of the body beneath the neck is considered porn. End rant against big government, thank you for your time.)
Me: Okay, because if it is, we at least need to make sure we get housed in the same cell. And we’re going to need to sharpen toothbrushes. Attractive women are always targets 😉 Good thing I’ve got shanking experience. Albeit, just in words on a blog, but still.
Jessica: Lol I know right…. We shall shank bitches
Me: That can be our battle cry – WE SHALL SHANK BITCHES!
And this is exactly why my friends always look like they need a drink. Send an innocent picture to me and it quickly spirals out of control.
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