Today is one of those days where I want to peel my face off and go do something productive as someone else. Anyone else feeling that way?! No? Okay. Awkward silence. Today I have dealt with the most inept people, incapable of seeing logic and fulfilling a simple request. I wish everyone was Amazon. Amazon…
Read MoreSusan should have listened…
Last night I was finishing up the last of my Christmas newsletters when I began to sweat. As I lifted an envelope to my mouth, I realized I was probably licking toxic glue. I ignored my paranoid side and kept sealing envelopes. Ten minutes later, I was still sweating. Paranoia won out and I went…
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Feed me a roll and no one gets hurt…
Today has been a hell of a Monday. The Littles are losing their minds in daycare and I am trying to get Christmas stuff done while they nap. It is not working. I went to my back up plan. Screw Christmas. You’ll get your presents and newsletters when they show up. I’m going to eat…
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Lola just ate Jesus…
Poor, tiny, baby Jesus sleeping in his manger. I bet he never saw it coming. That giant, wet, bulldog mouth with a tongue the size of a dinner plate… Lola was sniffing the new Christmas decorations and when she was done I noticed that baby Jesus was missing from his mother’s embrace. I walked over…
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Repeat scene until death comes calling…
It’s that time of year again. December. The time of the year where people start dropping dead from exhaustion and overeating. Also the time of the year when an above average amount people fall off their roofs and electrocute themselves. I was this close to being one of those fools for the first time in my…
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Long live the mac & cheese…
The other day I was browsing around Costco, I’m a bit addicted. It was my third trip in 10 days. I love that they change their products all the time – it keeps me buying stuff I never would’ve looked at in another store since the Kraft box is sitting right where it always is.…
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No one remembers the cake…
I am so nervous that it won’t turn out right. Luckily, I have several days until Saturday to make trial runs at decorating. But I’m still nervous. I mean, kid birthday cake is no big deal to mess up. Wedding? People remember that forever. I watched a few you tube tutorials on how to decorate.…
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What have I accomplished…
I really, really suck at the post one blog per day for the whole month of November challenge. It’s been 4 days without a post. In my defense, I was afraid to post randomly stupid things that would make my readers start to dull their shanks to inflict maximum damage upon my person for filling…
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Call me crapbag…
I missed some sort of life lesson as a child. And that life lesson is “It’s better to be a crapbag in your professional life to reap immediate rewards, than to have ethics and wait for your just rewards.” I know, I know. You are all telling me that I will get my just rewards…
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Make food the prize…
You know how I was challenged to write a blog a day for 30 days in a row? Yeah, I blew it. I took the past two days off to nap and eat at the Melting Pot. Future note to anyone who challenges me to something – if it doesn’t involve food, I don’t care…
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Shank You Very Much 