I made the bad decision to take a night shower and woke up with the worst hair in the country. One side of my hair was fluffy and free-flowing, loving life in the fast lane. The other side was flat and depressed, praying for some Zoloft. And then we get to the back. The cowlicks.…
Read MoreSo this weekend I watched The Boy Next Door in theaters. It was garbage. And I mean complete garbage. My friend took two phone calls during the movie and I tried not to bludgeon myself to death by making fun of the plot the whole time. Out loud. In a theater with other people. The…
Read MoreSo a lady goes to work one morning and when she returns home, her house has been bulldozed. By her husband. And everything was still inside. He’s in jail and she’s homeless. Hopefully crafting something from the rubble to shank her husband with. This is why quality childcare is so important!!! This shows what happens…
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On Friday I was awakened at 0300 with a throat on fire and a burning in my soul that no water could quench. Fevers can really be the worst. I had to cancel daycare for the day and the Littles had to stay home with their beloved parents, back up care was non-existent. Once you…
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Good god almighty! Are you people still with me?!?!?! In honor of this auspicious occasion, let’s all enjoy a Twinkie. Or a chocolate covered Twinkie. Or a chocolate and bacon covered Twinkie. Or any other Twinkie variation you concoct. Now that I’m thinking on it though, if I have 11,800 viewers and they all eat…
Read MoreRemember how a few months back I electrocuted myself by unplugging my computer and earned the nickname Sparky, thanks to the Hubster and his quick wit? Today I was hanging out at the stove, cooking some lunch, and I decided I needed more light. I reach up to the above stove switch and flip it,…
Read MoreI love dinosaurs. Who doesn’t? They are cool to think about, running all over the earth. I mean, cool because it’s not actually happening. Let’s face it – I don’t have a gun to bring down a T-Rex so I sure as hell don’t want a live one running around on the planet. But let’s…
Read MoreI have terrorized the Fed Ex man so badly that all employees who deliver to my home are in fear for their lives. It all started in 2012 when we moved to WA and I opened my infant home daycare. Everyone who knows an infant, knows that nap times are sacred events that must be…
Read MoreYesterday I wrote a blog about buying boxed foods from the UK that were made by American companies but had far fewer unpronounceable words in the ingredient list than their American counterpart. I was going to order from Amazon UK and I was swimming along fairly well. And then I hit a roadblock. You can’t…
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Today I decided to jazz up my online browsing because I almost died of sheer boredom. I was on Amazon and I was plain sick of seeing the same old stuff I order all the time. And then I keyed in a couple of letters and my day was magically transformed. I went to the…
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Shank You Very Much 