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Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. People put way, way too much personal stuff up on social media. Today was quite the doozy for me.

I learned one person has no sexual interest in their spouse.

Another friend has a leaky ass.

And a third person itches in places she shouldn’t.

I hate every single one of you now.

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU THINK I NEEDED TO KNOW THIS?!?!?!?!

So here’s my tip to all you over-sharers. STOP IT! Right now! If you wouldn’t tell it to your boss while standing in a room full of other staff, don’t give it to me on Facebook. You are traumatizing your friends, the very people you should want to like you.

And I don’t like you anymore.

Oh yeah. Any time you go to a doctor and insertion is in the appointment, you can shut the fuck up about that also.

If you need to talk about poop stories or any of the above items, they better be funny and involve someone under the age of 5 who makes you want to poke yourself in the eye. That’s the only acceptable storyline.

Goodnight to you all, it’s 0745 and I am officially done with the day.

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