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Today I saw a dude with thigh gap.

Thigh. Gap.

I almost got caught staring at the guy but I was able to snap my jaw closed and avert my eyes in time. I was half tempted to put one of my boxes on White Castle frozen cheeseburgers into his cart but I thought he would make a scene.

I wonder what parties look like when they are hosted and attended by people this skinny. Is there any food at all?! I mean, my parties and get-togethers always happen around a meal and none of my friends have ever thrown a party with no food. And we eat it.

I’m betting if this guy hosted a party he’d have a fully catered affair and then eat nothing. Not one bite. It would just be there to show off the china.

Like on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Those bitches always have food in front of them but they never eat it. Or they eat a dressing-less salad and even then we see one bite and at the end of the scene they walk away and the plate is still full. It’s a damn travesty.

Put the food in your mouth people!! I promise you, the people who eat do not think thigh gap is sexy; it’s just unhealthy. Only 0.000000000001% of the world’s population is naturally thin enough to have thigh gap. And I rounded that number up.