I think I need to hire a handyman. I just wrote out a list of items that need to be addressed during good weather season to make sure everything in my new home continues to function. I am very nervous that my fat kid self will be physically and mentally exhausted trying to complete this…
Read MoreI wonder if I should take up drinking wine…
I’ve decided that I can go no further with writing my book until I get a proper chair in my office. This folding chair has become the bane of my existence and as I sit here typing, I dream of publishing a picture book just to avoid the permanent ache that is developing in my…
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I always find a way to bend the rules…
In the blogging world, we have these great themes that roll around social media; Monday Blogs, Wordless Wednesday, Caption Day, etc. Well, it’s Wordless Wednesday today. I love this theme and hate this theme all at the same time. Love, because obviously I get to see tons of pictures from my favorite bloggers. Hate, because I…
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Don’t look at me like that…
You know that moment when a dog looks at you with their innocent face? They just glow with puppy delight as they watch your every move? They even go so far as to shake their little nubby as they watch you come into a room? And you know that somewhere there is a steaming, stinking…
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The word you’re looking for is maniacal…
I have a friend who finds the funniest, most out of control videos featuring people who I can only assume were too crude for even the people of Walmart websites. She’ll find these videos and post them up and tag friends in them. She knows there is no way we can just “scroll past” them…
Read MoreAmy Schumer is just not funny…
I know, I know, I know. I never, ever delve into topics like this. They’re slightly boring, open to personal interpretation, and frankly I have better things to do with my time. However, I feel like Amy is only gaining traction and I cannot stand the thought of a humorless hag taking over my screens…
Read MoreWe need to stop meeting like this…
I decided to spice things up a bit in my neighborhood last night. Apparently, quiet communities and I just cannot co-exist peacefully. Something to think upon in my spare time. I was innocently driving home around 10pm when I recognized the car in front of me – it was my neighbor. I was on a…
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The best therapy money can buy…
A few days ago Lola and I suffered a personal crisis. The internet went out, leaving us without an Apple TV or Netflix to watch. No computers to putter around on. No games to play on our phone since our signal is so weak without the internet boosting it. The horror, the horror! So we…
Read MoreI’ll bring the quarters…
Do you ever watch the movie Speed and then have an uncontrollable desire to hijack a bus and drive it like a maniac? No? Just me then, I guess. I made the mistake of watching Speed today, and when I say mistake, I mean that I’m tempted almost beyond reason to steal a city bus and go…
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You too could be a person of the night…
Today I woke up at 11am. Now, I know what you’re all thinking – I’m the luckiest person in the world. And you’re correct in thinking that. Except, I was so flustered that it took me an hour to figure out what to eat. I mean, it’s 11am already! It’s well past breakfast, but seems a…
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Shank You Very Much 