Uber, Uber, Uber. They just can’t seem to catch a break. Let’s take a little look at the ride sharing trend that has sprouted up around the country, shall we? First, the basic principle is to use an app to get a stranger to show up and drive you home. Take a minute to think about that.

That’s asking for a serial killer to find you!

You’re probably drunk, the drivers have a very loose background check, and you are getting in and hoping you make it home. Brilliant idea.

Second, as if the serial killer showing up wasn’t bad enough, the drivers are in the news for beating the shit out of riders. Or having the shit beaten out of themselves by drunk and irate passengers. Anyone remember the Taco Bell executive who lost his shit on camera?! Honestly, it’s a toss up between whether the drivers or passengers are winning. Every day it seems like one side gets ahead, only to take a beating the next.

And you paid for that beating.

Third, you can be charged for a multitude of things. Like the fake vomit scheme that’s making the rounds. Apparently, drivers are putting fake vomit in cars and then charging the drunk assholes for a cleaning charge. But the drunk asshole doesn’t know he’s been charged until he sobers up and checks his credit card statement.

I think they need to change this company’s name to Goober, because it doesn’t seem like anyone rationally thought through this idea.

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