Lola has been tad bit annoyed with me lately. She doesn’t know where the Daddybeast went and she hates to sleep without snuggles. Snuggling with me is out of the question, I’m a flipper and kicker. Anyone near me is probably going to lose an eye.
Last night, our argument over which one of us is the bigger asshole came to a head.
I put Lola in the bed, because she’s too damn delicate to jump in even though she spends her days chasing wild bunnies and jumping in the air to catch her ball. But you know, she’s a delicate butterfly.
As I lift Lola up, she wriggles every way she can and thrashes her head around. I finally manage to get her up and as soon as I release her, she points her rear at me and farts.
Yeah, like that’s going to go over well.
I push Lola’s butt away and tell her she’s an animal. Apparently, that was all Lola needed to hear. Game on bitches!
Lola promptly jumps onto my pillow and starts wiping her butt all over it. I run around to my side of the bed as I yell at her and she grabs the pillow and takes off. I pick up the Daddybeast’s pillow and hurl it at Lola, landing a direct hit. I scramble after the beast and latch onto her while trying to dislodge my pillow from her mouth.
It’s at this point I realize my pillow is violated beyond all belief and that Lola is going to become even more hyper so I try to calm down.
Lola isn’t going to calm down so easily. She looks at me, wearing the most evil doggy grin I’ve ever seen, and drops a tiny little poop nugget right on the blanket.
I guess she wins this round.
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