It has been a while since I’ve checked in to see what everyone is searching to land on my website. Since I ran out of witty things to say, I thought this would allow you readers to have a voice for one day. Here we go. I’ve added some witty retorts below each search term.…
Read MoreA new class of human emerges…
Almost every weekend from mid-April through October, you can find me at the drive in movie theater. I love to go and eat fried foods and popcorn in the comfort of my car with my trusty sidekick Lola. Look at her, ready to watch the movie. Drive in movie theaters are an exciting place to…
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I had to carry her back down the hallway…
You have never really lived until you’ve purchased a Roomba to vacuum your house. It’s made infinitely better if you have a dog that you can torture with your new toy. You would think after a month of owning it, Lola would be used to it – she still can’t decide if it’s a friend…
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It was my superpower at birth…
I have something to confess to you all. It may be a shocker to some of you who know me. I fully expect mocking to follow this important announcement. I’m scared of cats. I know, I know, it’s completely silly. I’ve owned cats. I had a few when I was a kid, and they weren’t…
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I like to go in fresh…
Today I woke up with a headache after a disturbing night of sleep. Hubster was still home and I told him that I thought the dream of seeing Jurassic World tonight at the drive in movie theater was dead. With movies not starting until 10pm, I didn’t have much hope I could stay awake that…
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2014 can suck it…
Who wants to get paid no money to do a thankless job with long hours, and very small windows of time in which to use the potty? Plus you’ll never get to potty by yourself. Just kidding. Sort of. You see, I’m still working on my blog construction. Now, to those of you who haven’t noticed…
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I expedited shipping…
I may or may not have ordered Lola a Triceratops headpiece to wear to the premier of Jurassic World at the Rodeo Drive In movie theater. June 12th cannot come soon enough for us, we are watching the first three Jurassic Park movies right now. We will repeat the marathon next weekend, while wearing the costume, in…
Read MoreYou do realize you’re in public…
Do you think people who are out in public, register the fact that they are out in public? I mean, is it possible that people have been raised as animals and they therefore have no concept of what in public means? Maybe they view being in public as a very large extension of their living…
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It’s the world cup of taste testing…
I would like to start with an apology for the lack of photos. With 5 boxes of crackers from three different countries, I was a bit overwhelmed. I was also extremely dehydrated from all the cracker eating and it led to weakness of the arms, resulting in my inability to hold up a camera phone.…
Read MoreHang a sample on the shelf like they do for pens…
I’d like to take this moment to get something off my chest. Every single woman in the world feels the same way about this, I know because I’ve polled them all. This is a message to all the feminine hygiene companies across the entire world. STOP CHANGING YOUR PACKAGING!!!! You are seriously starting to tick…
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Shank You Very Much 