Almost every weekend from mid-April through October, you can find me at the drive in movie theater. I love to go and eat fried foods and popcorn in the comfort of my car with my trusty sidekick Lola.
Look at her, ready to watch the movie.
Drive in movie theaters are an exciting place to people watch and they are perfectly set up to give a year’s worth of material to a blog writer like me. First, people are packed in their cars, forgetting that their neighboring car is mere feet away from them. Second, people have to get there when the box office opens and then wait for hours until it is dark enough for the movie to start. And the final laugh inducing moment comes in watching people park their cars.
People suck at parking. People especially suck at parking when they have to follow rules to do so. Truck and SUV drivers seem to have an exceptionally difficult time parking at our drive in, so much so that the drive in has to employ parking attendants to enforce the very difficult parking rules. The rules being that trucks and SUVs have to park in the first three rows, or the back two rows, or at the very ends of the rows where the yellow poles are.
Very, very complicated. I mean, that’s three whole directions to follow about where you must park when you are driving a huge vehicle that blocks the screen! And thus, a new class of humans has been born.
The truckle-heads.™ (I haven’t really trademarked that witty word but you shouldn’t steal it!)
Truckle-heads are like chuckleheads, but they drive trucks. They can’t follow a simple direction on where to park and they are unbelievable argumentative with the staff over their assigned parking. They’ve even been known to scream at the tiny vehicles they just blocked. What are they screaming? Why, they’re screaming that they aren’t blocking the tiny vehicles’ view of the screen with their lifted, off-road truck.
And the entire time they are screaming and arguing and driving from illegal spot to illegal spot, they are losing out on great trucks spots and delicious corn dogs.
And I just laugh and laugh and laugh at these people who can’t seem to get ahead in life through their stubborn defiance of simple rules. I even heard one guy threaten to never come back and the attendant looked around at the sold out crowd and said “cool with me.”
Don’t be a truckle-head. Show up early, park where you’re supposed to and sit back with a delicious corn dog.
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Lola and I opened a store so we can hopefully cover the world in her Bulldog face, check it out at Shank You Very Much