Thanks to the loss of cable, I’ve been binge-watching TV shows on Netflix. This week the show has been Criminal Minds. For the first four seasons I was all caught up in the excitement of this hotshot team of profilers catching monsters. They were jetting around the United States, shaking hands and kissing babies. Everywhere…
Read MoreI was recently talking to a friend of mine and by the end of the conversation all I could think about was shanking that bitch in her face. I mean, friend or not, you are making all of us look bad and I’m going to have to kill you so that the others don’t torture…
Read More
There comes a time in every life where you have to admit defeat. Lola is admitting her defeat… At the hands of a chunk of Gouda. ………………………………… This past weekend, I was enjoying a delicious bacon cheeseburger when I happened to glance at Lola. She had a river of drool coming out the side of…
Read More
Since I had my appendix removed a few weeks ago, my appetite has not returned. I remembered to eat when my mother was here taking care of me because her appetite would tell her it was time to feed us. But since she left I’ve been eating one meal a day, if I remember to…
Read More
Do you know what happens when a chubby, cheese-loving, English Bulldog meets a wild rabbit in the backyard? Well, I do. And man, that was a close call! Lola and I thought we were in the clear when we moved to the new house and left the psychotic, strong-armed squirrel in our old backyard. We…
Read More
This morning I ran across a Lola Moment (TM pending) that made me chuckle. And then I remembered what a pain in the ass that moment was. For the love of god, will you take the toy already?!?! Lola has to check all her new toys for quality control. In the case of this particular toy,…
Read MoreI’m sure you’ve all heard the theory that what can go wrong, will go wrong. Remodeling my new house has proven that theory correct, every single time I turn around. The kitchen would not fit right, the flooring was a pain in the ass, and the water flowing all over the floors was a sure…
Read MoreI spent this weekend with Hubster at the new house… cattleprodding my contractor to work. I swear to you, it’s like herding cats to get this guy to focus on the task and not wander off. He would look up from a tool and suddenly realize that there was a sky outside he needed to…
Read More
So everyone knows by now that the house we’re living in has tried to kill me multiple times in the past 3 years. Usually by electrocution (how I earned the nickname Sparky), once by stairwell (because, of course), and once by shower (I never blogged about it because it was too traumatizing). Well, the house…
Read MoreThere’s a new pattern in my life and I hate it. Yesterday morning started off early – I was awake at 0419. Yes, to the minute I know when I looked at the clock because I was flabbergasted by my body betraying me into consciousness. I guess it wasn’t really my body, so much as…
Read More
Shank You Very Much 