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Do you know what happens when a chubby, cheese-loving, English Bulldog meets a wild rabbit in the backyard? Well, I do. And man, that was a close call!

Lola and I thought we were in the clear when we moved to the new house and left the psychotic, strong-armed squirrel in our old backyard.

We were so very wrong.

Apparently that squirrel sent word to the wildlife who lives in our new yard that we must be destroyed. Sadly, the new wildlife aren’t small squirrels…they are big ass wild bunnies. Those things jump!

Lola went out last night to go potty and she saw a bunny. She’d never met a bunny before and she seemed pretty pleased to make its acquaintance, demonstrated by her charging for it at full speed.

Poor bunny. Poor Lola. Everything went wrong.

The bunny was almost the size of Lola – I’m pretty sure it is taking some kind of steroid in order to dominate the neighborhood. It jumped up in the air about three feet and Lola just stopped mid-run to stare in disbelief.

And then the bunny started towards her.

Lola wheeled around and started racing back towards me. She obviously misjudged how far out into the giant backyard she had travelled, she had quite a ways to run. By the time she hit the deck I had the door open, and I was prepared to smack a bunny with a frying pan.

Which would have been awful, but necessary to defend Lola – who at this point is huffing and puffing like a prized racehorse.

Now Lola just sits at the glass door, staring out at the bunnies whose romping causes the motion detector light to turn on.

That new back door cannot be delivered soon enough.

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