Lola walked up to me today and handed me her list of New Year Resolutions. After reading through it I decided she needed help with what a resolution is. She had handed me a list of life goals. No way could one bulldog achieve her list in a single year. But she’s going to try. And I’m…
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New Year’s Resolutions. I love listening to people say they are going to lose weight, live healthier lives, show more kindness to their enemies….blah,blah,blah. What a crock of shit. You know you won’t do any of that. And you’ll be grumpy and disappointed in yourself as a result of your numerous failings. My resolutions are amazing and…
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This is just a little teaser. Lola and I have completed writing our resolutions down. You’ll be getting those tonight. Can’t give them to you until the ball is ready to drop, we may need to change our minds depending on our drinking habits tonight. And Lola is also trying to figure out how long…
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I beat every level in Candy Crush Saga. And even the levels in the new land of candy, that owl one. I don’t even know what they call it and I beat the pants off it. So now that I’ve accomplished my life goals to date, I shall be sitting down to pen some new…
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I have dozens and dozens of cookies sitting around my house. I got this bright idea to go on a baking binge on Christmas day and now I have so many cookies I may die. I had a couple of plans to get rid of the cookies. The first one entailed handing them out from…
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For three weeks Lola has been contemplating Christmas. She has valiantly fought her fear of our tiny Christmas tree – it sits on the coffee table and attempts to murder her when we’re not looking. Lola helped put stockings up, and resisted the urge to rip them down and kill them for jingling their little…
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I, the kid born and raised for 24 years of my life in Hawai’i, have shamed my family and hometown culture. I can’t use chopsticks. There, I’ve said it. I love sushi – everything about the little rolls of fish and seaweed and rice with wasabi. It’s delicious! And I eat it like a heathen with…
Read MoreNeedless to say, going shopping the Saturday before Christmas can get a little dicey. Especially when Target or the mall are involved. Yet I love holiday shopping and I reasoned that all the cranky people went out on black Friday. Leaving only the happy people out with me today. Naively, I thought I could handle it.…
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So today was the day. The day I made the infamous mac & cheese balls I bought from Costco the other day. The day heaven met earth in my mouth and I was going to live happily ever after with my cheese and pasta and other assorted chemical ingredients to keep my cheese and pasta…
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I walked in to Costco to buy bananas. $78.16 later and I own the priciest bananas I ever thought I would buy. So let’s review the items that Costco forced me to purchase just by placing their store in the best/worst layout that a fat kid ever had to walk through. Butter croissants (I can eat 2…
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Shank You Very Much 