I beat every level in Candy Crush Saga.
And even the levels in the new land of candy, that owl one. I don’t even know what they call it and I beat the pants off it.
So now that I’ve accomplished my life goals to date, I shall be sitting down to pen some new ones. I have a few ideas so far.
1) Try to adopt a baby hippo and get it into base housing. They are small-ish as babies and I think I can pass it off as a mutant, hairless dog.
2) Teach Lola how to yodel.
“Let me lick my lips real quick and then I’m ready to yodel.”
3) Try to devise a way to take over the world and become the first ever world dictator. I don’t know, this one seems really heavy in the labor area so my laziness will probably win. Which sucks since I’d be a great dictator and not kill or oppress my minions. I’d just make sure everyone had food and Seinfeld and The Big Bang Theory to watch at will.
4) Invent a device that will read my thoughts so I no longer have to type out my blog posts. Though it would probably automatically send out my blog posts without letting me edit them and you would all run screaming into the distance to get away from the brand of crazy my brain comes up with.
To sum it all up, get some life goals people!
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