I recently read an article about food in America versus food in the UK. Apparently, many of our packaged foods are sold there, but with vastly different ingredients. The UK has banned certain ingredients due to health concerns. Since the American companies obviously want to keep the money flowing, they adapt their products accordingly. Meanwhile in…
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People watching people watch TV…
Tonight is the season premier of one of my favorite addictions, The People’s Couch on Bravo. The show’s premise is very easy to understand: they film people watching TV. I watch people watch TV! I’ve been told this is a low point in my life but I just laugh it off. Within two minutes of watching, the…
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Lola is a giant baby…
No one ever believes me when I tell them this. Let me give you a recent example of the infantile Lola. I’m on the phone with a dear friend of mine, Lola is napping happily on the floor. After about 15 minutes I realize the snoring has stopped. I look around, there is no Lola in…
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Buckle your seatbelt…
Tonight I am having an adult sleepover. It was very weird to write adult and sleepover in the same sentence. And let’s get our heads out of the sewers and keep it rated G people!! We will be pigging out on junk food, watching scary movies that have sharks in it, and then attempting to sleep…
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I beheaded a bulldog…
Don’t call the authorities yet! I’ll start at the beginning. I went to Target and found the newest member of my family. It was the most adorable English bulldog that wasn’t Lola. I brought her home and immediately plunked her down in front of Lola. Lola was less than impressed. I decided to let Lola name…
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I’m all over the place…
Yesterday I sat down and started actively putting my thoughts together into a book. I’m officially three pages in and I am exhausted. I’m pretty sure that none of the three pages are actually about what I want my book to be about. There’s a small possibility that I just let every thought in my…
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I’ve reached a year…
Yesterday was my official one year anniversary of this blog. When I started my blog I had some pretty lofty goals. I wanted people to use the word shank in everyday life. I hoped people would love Twinkies more. And Lola wanted to show the world her crazy. I hit all those goals!! I even…
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Lola saved my life…
And not just in a metaphorical sense. I was walking around cleaning up after the world’s longest day with a Little who screamed the house down. I was so tired and mentally out of it that my normal instincts were dulled. I missed the world’s biggest spider hanging out on my dining room floor. I’m…
Read MoreYou know what’s annoying….
The other day I found a new blog and it was so hysterical. The person was similar to myself in that she loved Seinfeld and sarcasm wasn’t a mood, it was a lifestyle. There was just one problem. Her entire website was laid out in center format. I mean, how can I read a blog…
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I have an inner skinny kid…
And she is currently kicking the shit out of my fat kid side. On Saturday I was laid low with the plague of all fat kids. Vomit. Now, any true fat kid will tell you that vomiting is the worst, absolute worst, thing that can happen to you, in your life. Food is our friend. How dare…
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Shank You Very Much 