Last night I had a migraine starting when I went to bed. I took some medicine and prayed it would help. I’m not sure it helped with the migraine but it did allow me to write an entire book while I slept. And the bonus, the book is intended to be made into a movie.…
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It was mayhem in the kitchen. There was flour, sugar, salt and oil all over. I had the fryer heating up and the batter was being prepared. I tried to control my excitement so that I could properly measure the ingredients, but it was difficult. I spilled milk and cursed myself for making the process…
Read MoreI opened my email and found the universe knocking at my door with some advice. I received a pizza coupon and a weight loss coupon within seconds of one another. I need to scarf down a pizza and then rid myself of the muffin top it will inevitably give me. Which is a lot nicer…
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Lola told me a joke last night. I was sleeping in bed and I felt a furry little face with pointy teeth right next to me. Right.next.to.me. I decided to play along and woke up enough to ask Lola what’s up. She said to me, “It’s night-time and I’m not tired.” And then she proceeded…
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This weekend I went to a local casino with some friends. The place had tons of new machines and I walked around in a neon daze while music from all the machines assaulted my ears. And then I spotted it, the mecca of slot machines – The Wizard of Oz penny machine. No one was…
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Lola woke up this morning with hatred, discontent and vengeance rolling though her veins. As I got Lola out of bed I started to hear the menacing music from Star Wars and realized that this is how Darth Vader probably felt right before he crossed to the dark side. Lola was halfway down the hall…
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“Okay, what’s the best way to conquer this ball? I could do a frontal attack with a 75% success rate. The hail mary might be the way to go here though. I have no idea what a hail mary is, but I assume it means the gods of war will help me out so I…
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Because the alternative to that is just too horrifying to contemplate. If it’s not hallucinations, it must be ghosts and I am not cool with ghosts hanging out in my bedroom. I love watching Ghost Hunters, but I’ll be damned if they’re in my home. Every night when we go to bed, Lola has this…
Read MoreAbout a year ago, I was peer pressured into reading the 50 Shades of Grey series. I had held out because I loathe people telling me “you’ll love it” and then I hate it and I begin to question how we are friends. I finally read it because everyone was talking about it and I kept…
Read MoreThere’s one joke on The Big Bang Theory that I never, ever got. I have watched the episode at least 25 times and it never made any sense to me. Sheldon says to Penny in a Valentine’s Day episode ‘at least I got you to say Valentine.’ I was stumped. Jason was stumped. I polled…
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Shank You Very Much 