I’ve had a migraine since Sunday. It tried very hard to destroy my life on Monday with the vision spottiness, and by Tuesday was a dull thumping over my eye. Now the migraine is just sitting there, right over my eye, annoying me to the point of Twinkies. (I’m going to ™ that phrase so…
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You light up my life…
Two seconds after taking this photo Lola told me to stop being sappy and get her a damn Twinkie… Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest…
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It was a weird night…
Last night I had a migraine starting when I went to bed. I took some medicine and prayed it would help. I’m not sure it helped with the migraine but it did allow me to write an entire book while I slept. And the bonus, the book is intended to be made into a movie.…
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My entire life has been preparing for this moment…
It was mayhem in the kitchen. There was flour, sugar, salt and oil all over. I had the fryer heating up and the batter was being prepared. I tried to control my excitement so that I could properly measure the ingredients, but it was difficult. I spilled milk and cursed myself for making the process…
Read MoreEither way, the universe is on my shank list…
I opened my email and found the universe knocking at my door with some advice. I received a pizza coupon and a weight loss coupon within seconds of one another. I need to scarf down a pizza and then rid myself of the muffin top it will inevitably give me. Which is a lot nicer…
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I was awake for hours…
Lola told me a joke last night. I was sleeping in bed and I felt a furry little face with pointy teeth right next to me. Right.next.to.me. I decided to play along and woke up enough to ask Lola what’s up. She said to me, “It’s night-time and I’m not tired.” And then she proceeded…
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I cashed out before any old ladies hit me with their purse…
This weekend I went to a local casino with some friends. The place had tons of new machines and I walked around in a neon daze while music from all the machines assaulted my ears. And then I spotted it, the mecca of slot machines – The Wizard of Oz penny machine. No one was…
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The people of Earth have been warned…
Lola woke up this morning with hatred, discontent and vengeance rolling though her veins. As I got Lola out of bed I started to hear the menacing music from Star Wars and realized that this is how Darth Vader probably felt right before he crossed to the dark side. Lola was halfway down the hall…
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Lola’s going for the kill…
“Okay, what’s the best way to conquer this ball? I could do a frontal attack with a 75% success rate. The hail mary might be the way to go here though. I have no idea what a hail mary is, but I assume it means the gods of war will help me out so I…
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Lola is having hallucinations…
Because the alternative to that is just too horrifying to contemplate. If it’s not hallucinations, it must be ghosts and I am not cool with ghosts hanging out in my bedroom. I love watching Ghost Hunters, but I’ll be damned if they’re in my home. Every night when we go to bed, Lola has this…
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Shank You Very Much 