I’m slowly working my way through the British food I had delivered to my home from across the pond. Last week I reviewed the bread; the Brits won that round, hands down, with a taser pointed at the American bread’s neck.
Oh bloody hell.
This week we’re taste testing Pringles.
First of all, America is the clear winner in the size department, we are actually the smaller can. Take that, Redcoats! Our bread may be two and a half times the size of yours, but your chips (sorry, crisps) will be adding to your waistlines to make up for it.
The Brit’s can is 190g and the American can is 169g. Now, I’m not 100% on what a gram is, but the UK can didn’t list any ounces. Thankfully the American can listed grams as well as ounces or I would have been in math hell for hours.
And now we’ll move along to the best part; taste testing the heck out of some chips.
British on the left, American on the right.
I’m not sure if you can tell, but the American chips on the right are significantly darker than the Brit crisps on the left. The difference was so notable, I worried I had bought two different flavors.
I popped the American chip into my mouth and happily dreamed lovely dreams of unicorns farting glitter while soaring over a rainbow with a sack of gold at the end. As you can plainly see, I love chips.
My second foray onto the unicorn’s back was much different; it was so much better I can’t even describe it in words. I envision heaven will be like eating that chip. The moment that British crisp hit my mouth I knew America was being screwed over royally. And it made me slightly cranky. Okay, a lot cranky. British Corner Shop is going to be getting a whole heck of a lot of business from this American.
First of all, the crisp was much, much thinner than America’s. I could eat these in the middle of a dark room and no one would hear the loud crunching that makes others want to shank them in the belly. Second, the sour cream was much tastier on the Brit crisp. It is apparent now why the UK can is bigger; no way could I stop after eating just a few. I may or may not have eaten so much that my stomach hurt.
Here are the ingredients, I’ve highlighted the extra ingredients that were added to the loser that was the American Pringle.
UK Pringles ingredients: Dehydrated Potatoes, Vegetable Oil, Rice Flour, Wheat Starch, Sour Cream & Onion Flavour (Onion Powder, Sour Cream Powder, Dextrose, Flavourings, Sugar, Sweet Whey Powder, Lactose from Milk, Milk Protein, Potato Starch, Citric Acid, Lactic Acid, Malic Acid), Emulsifier: E471, Maltodextrin, Salt, Modified Rice Starch.
American Pringles ingredients: DRIED POTATOES, VEGETABLE OIL (CONTAINS ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING: CORN OIL, COTTONSEED OIL, SOYBEAN OIL, AND/OR SUNFLOWER OIL), CORN FLOUR, WHEAT STARCH AND MALTODEXTRIN. CONTAINS 2% OR LESS OF: RICE FLOUR, SALT, WHEY, DEXTROSE, COCONUT OIL, MONOSODIUM GLUTAMATE, ONION POWDER, SUGAR, NONFAT MILK, SOUR CREAM (CREAM, NONFAT MILK, CULTURES), CULTURED NONFAT MILK, NATURAL FLAVORS, BUTTERMILK, SWEET CREAM, CITRIC ACID, LACTIC ACID, DISODIUM INOSINATE, DISODIUM GUANYLATE, SODIUM CASEINATE, INVERT SUGAR, MALIC ACID AND YEAST EXTRACT.
Americans, shall we take a moment to reflect that there are four types of sodium added to our chips?! Or how about inverted sugar?! I’m not sure what the hell it is, but I’m pretty sure I don’t want my sugar inverted. Whatever these extra ingredients are actually for, I know one fact:
They are fucking up a perfectly delightful chip.
If the UK can have such a delicious product, I demand the same for Americans. Give me the same chips is the new no taxation without representation. I’m going to go dump a crate of American Pringles in the Puget Sound tomorrow, who wants to join me?!!
I’d like to take this moment to say that British Corner Shop is not paying me in money or food or even free shipping to post anything about their website. But they got the order boxed, shipped internationally to a military base, for under $30….before the bread even got a teensy bit stale. So if you want British food, you should check them out.
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