Mother nature is sadistic this week. Washington state has had another round of 90+ degree temperatures and I had high hopes I could save myself on electricity. Luckily, Navy housing bills electricity on a sliding scale so if everyone uses more, it raises the ceiling on where I have to start paying for “overuse.” I…
Read MoreSomebody is going to get hurt and it won’t be me…
Yesterday I decided that in 90 degree temperatures, I was going to detail both Hubster’s car and my SUV. Obviously, I suffered some sort of mental breakdown. The blame should fall on the Hubster, he drove the cars through a car wash and the inside looked so dirty in comparison that I had to act.…
Read MoreMy brain is an asshole…
I’ve been getting a lot of questions lately about what the book I’m writing is going to be about. I’d like to be really honest with you all. I have no idea. I wrote an outline, did a little table of contents action, and then I proceeded to toss that onto the pile of shit…
Read MoreI hate summer with a passion…
I’d like to clarify that it’s not all of summer that I hate. I loathe the heat. I despise sweating, hence my avoidance of all manual labor outside of a building with air conditioning. There is nothing worse to me than sweating in the hot, hot summer weather. I frankly don’t know how people like…
Read MoreThanks dude, you ruined my life…
The Hubster and I were recently driving on our local roadways, out and about for a little jaunt to procure some food. Alright, I’ve already annoyed myself trying to jazz up this post with sophisticated words. I’ll stop now before you all quit reading. We were driving, when all of a sudden, I spied my…
Read MoreShould kids be allowed in First Class…
Buckle up because we are going there. I was recently flying home from Hawai’i, and since I’m a terrible flyer I booked myself into first class. Unlimited amounts of free booze definitely make you less afraid of crashing into the ocean and being eaten by Jaws. As I boarded the flight, I passed by the…
Read MoreSome things shouldn’t be googled…
It has been a while since I’ve checked in to see what everyone is searching to land on my website. Since I ran out of witty things to say, I thought this would allow you readers to have a voice for one day. Here we go. I’ve added some witty retorts below each search term.…
Read MoreA new class of human emerges…
Almost every weekend from mid-April through October, you can find me at the drive in movie theater. I love to go and eat fried foods and popcorn in the comfort of my car with my trusty sidekick Lola. Look at her, ready to watch the movie. Drive in movie theaters are an exciting place to…
Read MoreYou do realize you’re in public…
Do you think people who are out in public, register the fact that they are out in public? I mean, is it possible that people have been raised as animals and they therefore have no concept of what in public means? Maybe they view being in public as a very large extension of their living…
Read MoreHang a sample on the shelf like they do for pens…
I’d like to take this moment to get something off my chest. Every single woman in the world feels the same way about this, I know because I’ve polled them all. This is a message to all the feminine hygiene companies across the entire world. STOP CHANGING YOUR PACKAGING!!!! You are seriously starting to tick…
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