All articles filed in Are You Shanking Me?!

I just need to get something off my chest. It’s been weighing on me and I think I might explode if I don’t say it out loud for the world (or two people) to hear. I am ticked off that we are getting another Jason Bourne movie. Whew! That was really keeping me up at…

I thought buying a house with a seven car driveway was a boon. It was not. I spent six hours power washing my driveway, only to realize that I had another 12 hours of work to get it all the same color. My mistake began in thinking that my driveway was a dark gray cement……

By now most of you know the plight of my new lawn. It is huge. It requires mowing. Hubster is not here so apparently that mowing falls onto me. And it rains, a lot, so the grass is growing freakishly fast. Did I mention that my current lawnmower is a battery-powered toy we used in…

My brother has left, his vacation with me is over, and I am bereft. But it’s probably a good thing that he left or I may be dead. Allow me to explain. As you all know, my brother lives in Alaska and scenery is king there. A trip to visit me in Washington state means…

I think I may have broken my index finger. I was trying to adjust my kitchen aid bowl the other day and I foolishly opted to ignore the instruction to “unplug the unit.” And you can guess what happened next. As my hand slid on the machine, it knocked the lever and turned the mixer…

Note: I wrote about this problem two and a half years ago. The foam is already soft again. Where’s my fucking rock?!!!! So I have this fabulous couch that is amazing except for the fact that I am already griping that I need foam cushion replacements to sit on and it is less than three…

I tried to go to sleep last night and it didn’t work. Well, it would’ve worked if the entire world hadn’t been conspiring against me. And Lola, never forget that the Lola suffered next to me. You’ll never be alone… It all started about 2am when we made a critical error in the bedtime routine.…

Uber, Uber, Uber. They just can’t seem to catch a break. Let’s take a little look at the ride sharing trend that has sprouted up around the country, shall we? First, the basic principle is to use an app to get a stranger to show up and drive you home. Take a minute to think about…

I think I need to hire a handyman. I just wrote out a list of items that need to be addressed during good weather season to make sure everything in my new home continues to function. I am very nervous that my fat kid self will be physically and mentally exhausted trying to complete this…

I’ve decided that I can go no further with writing my book until I get a proper chair in my office. This folding chair has become the bane of my existence and as I sit here typing, I dream of publishing a picture book just to avoid the permanent ache that is developing in my…