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I just need to get something off my chest. It’s been weighing on me and I think I might explode if I don’t say it out loud for the world (or two people) to hear.

I am ticked off that we are getting another Jason Bourne movie.

Whew! That was really keeping me up at night!

Now, I know what you’re thinking – how can you not like Jason Bourne?! I do. Love the three movies, love Matt Damon. But we were done with Bourne. We moved on. We had Aaron Cross and a whole new direction of genetically altered misfits to follow. Hello, what about LARX?! Where is that buried?! How do we blow that program wide open?! The one guy we saw from the program was practically a robot.

A robot, people!

And now we’re back to Bourne. Correct me if I’m wrong, but Matt Damon was pretty clear that they had beat that storyline to death. Hence, the moving to another character in the Bourne universe. A character who had a whole lot of room to go as far as plot.

Sure, we could all say that Damon is trying to salvage a career that had a few misses recently, but that can’t be it. The Martian was amazing and completely erased the Elysium movie from my brain, at least the parts I saw before I turned off the tv in disgust. I’m assuming this return to Bourne is due to some very large amounts of money being thrown around.

I’m going to go pray to the movie gods at an altar I have assembled out of empty spam cans and Twinkie wrappers. Hopefully this new Bourne movie doesn’t unravel all the good work Damon’s done, because there’s no way I can resist watching it.

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