My brother has left, his vacation with me is over, and I am bereft. But it’s probably a good thing that he left or I may be dead.
Allow me to explain.
As you all know, my brother lives in Alaska and scenery is king there. A trip to visit me in Washington state means I don’t have a lot of options on things to amaze him with. I’ve got mountains, his are better. I’ve got ample wildlife, he has more. So honestly, the only thing I had for this kid were casinos and food.
I did great at the casinos. I was ahead and loving life. It was the food that tried to kill me. Things were going great, until Friday night. We decided to return to a restaurant we had already been to and I ordered with gusto.
I love that gusto sounds like fatso, it kind of elevates my status when I tell a story involving too much food.
By 5am on Saturday morning I had given up the fight. I stopped counting the number of times I vomited when I reached 24. I asked my brother to kill me, he wanted to do so many times in our youth, but as an adult I guess prison doesn’t look as good. He declined and bought me medicine.
I thought my brother had surely matured and was officially an adult.
Then he abandoned me to go to a casino. In all honesty though, I would have done the same thing.
Siblings are the best!!
Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather
I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet
Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much