All articles filed in Are You Shanking Me?!

I know, I know, I know. I never, ever delve into topics like this. They’re slightly boring, open to personal interpretation, and frankly I have better things to do with my time. However, I feel like Amy is only gaining traction and I cannot stand the thought of a humorless hag taking over my screens…

I decided to spice things up a bit in my neighborhood last night. Apparently, quiet communities and I just cannot co-exist peacefully. Something to think upon in my spare time. I was innocently driving home around 10pm when I recognized the car in front of me – it was my neighbor. I was on a…

Do you ever watch the movie Speed and then have an uncontrollable desire to hijack a bus and drive it like a maniac? No? Just me then, I guess.  I made the mistake of watching Speed today, and when I say mistake, I mean that I’m tempted almost beyond reason to steal a city bus and go…

New Year’s Resolutions. I love listening to people say they are going to lose weight, become a healthier person through exercise and eating, show more kindness to their enemies….blah,blah,blah. It sounds like we all just became contestants in a beauty pageant. You know you won’t do any of that. You’ll just end up becoming grumpy…

I was recently talking to a friend of mine and by the end of the conversation all I could think about was shanking that bitch in her face. I mean, friend or not, you are making all of us look bad and I’m going to have to kill you so that the others don’t torture…

I’m sure you’ve all heard the theory that what can go wrong, will go wrong. Remodeling my new house has proven that theory correct, every single time I turn around. The kitchen would not fit right, the flooring was a pain in the ass, and the water flowing all over the floors was a sure…

I spent this weekend with Hubster at the new house… cattleprodding my contractor to work. I swear to you, it’s like herding cats to get this guy to focus on the task and not wander off. He would look up from a tool and suddenly realize that there was a sky outside he needed to…

There’s a new pattern in my life and I hate it. Yesterday morning started off early – I was awake at 0419. Yes, to the minute I know when I looked at the clock because I was flabbergasted by my body betraying me into consciousness. I guess it wasn’t really my body, so much as…

This weekend I decided to break my previous shopping record for most money spent in under two hours. To date, the best I’ve ever done was a few thousand dollars during a particularly weak moment in an Apple store. And half of that could be blamed on the Hubster. We decided iPods, iPads, iMacs and…

Have you ever noticed that your hair looks amazing every single day for weeks at a time, then one day it will just look ridiculous? For absolutely no reason that you can fathom? And you cannot even get your hair to stay put with maximum hold products? Well let me tell you, that happens to…