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I know, I know, I know. I never, ever delve into topics like this. They’re slightly boring, open to personal interpretation, and frankly I have better things to do with my time. However, I feel like Amy is only gaining traction and I cannot stand the thought of a humorless hag taking over my screens and ruining this thing that I love- comedy.

Amy Schumer is not funny.

There! You finally know the truth. She’s a one trick pony with the same joke on repeat. And it’s not even coming off as a joke. It’s coming off as a pathetic attempt to create a persona that I’m convinced an agent decided to represent and he went looking for someone willing to wear the suit.

See Amy. Amy likes sex. Amy likes drinks. Amy is funny. 

No, no, no! For god’s sake, she’s terrible. She’s like Adam Sandler, only even more awful. At least Adam, in all his stupid humor, is telling a joke. You crack a smile while groaning because he’s just so ridiculous.

But Adam is at least believable. You think this would really happen to him when no one’s looking. He fits the character he’s built for himself and he makes terrific money based on it. Good for you Adam Sandler! I may not like you, but others do.

People don’t like Amy. I haven’t ever met a single person outside of “the business” who thinks Amy is funny. I know a wide variety of people spanning across the entire United States, the Navy does a great job introducing me to new people every single day. And you know what? Not one of them could say Amy Schumer is funny. In fact, once they actually try to watch her “humor” they come to the complete opposite conclusion. I’ve got friends who even went so far as to write Amy an email asking for a refund on their rental of Trainwreck.

Even I didn’t go that far!

I’d like to leave you with this little thought. Amy was thin-skinned over a 17-year-old critic making an innocent joke that she’s made 1000 times herself. People who write material and find it humorous will also find it humorous when other people do it as well. But to find it offensive when other people do your humor usually means your shit is scripted for you.

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