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This weekend I decided to break my previous shopping record for most money spent in under two hours. To date, the best I’ve ever done was a few thousand dollars during a particularly weak moment in an Apple store. And half of that could be blamed on the Hubster. We decided iPods, iPads, iMacs and all the other i products needed to be ours.

After that weekend, the Hubster and I made a blood pact to never go near an Apple store with any form of money, jewelry or other valuables which could be easily sold on the street. But I think I’ve finally got the Apple store beat.

$220,000.00

You did not just have a stroke, there are indeed that many zeros after the 2. You know when people brag that they have a six-figure salary? Yeah, screw those guys. I just spent six figures like it was nothing.

No I didn’t. I am definitely lying to you all while trying to force some adulthood onto myself. I was actually shaking and nauseous and needed a really big dose of Tylenol to make the pounding in my head go away. Six figures! Who let me out of the house to go shopping?!?!

I’m not going to be able to afford meat for the rest of my life!

House buying has to be the most confusing thing you will ever do in your life. I think it would be easier to build a ship to Mars than to understand what those hundreds of pages of documents actually mean. You sign your name a hundred times, acknowledge you understand everything (when in reality you are just trying not to drool on yourself) and you pray that the bank will just start taking the money out of your account when it’s time.

Because by the end, you aren’t even positive what your mortgage payment is, but you’re pretty sure it’s more than $100.

The Hubster is chiming in here, talking about cars and how we broke the Apple record when purchasing them. That’s not true. Cars are free. I walk in, point to a car, and drive back out. Sure, the credit union is taking money out of my account, but I walked out of that dealership without seeing any totals. So that makes it free.

No one let me walk away with a house without the total being shoved in front of my face for two hours because that’s apparently the law.

I’m off to make some Ramen since we are now living like paupers.


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