Poor, tiny, baby Jesus sleeping in his manger. I bet he never saw it coming. That giant, wet, bulldog mouth with a tongue the size of a dinner plate… Lola was sniffing the new Christmas decorations and when she was done I noticed that baby Jesus was missing from his mother’s embrace. I walked over…
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It’s that time of year again. December. The time of the year where people start dropping dead from exhaustion and overeating. Also the time of the year when an above average amount people fall off their roofs and electrocute themselves. I was this close to being one of those fools for the first time in my…
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The other day I was browsing around Costco, I’m a bit addicted. It was my third trip in 10 days. I love that they change their products all the time – it keeps me buying stuff I never would’ve looked at in another store since the Kraft box is sitting right where it always is.…
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I am so nervous that it won’t turn out right. Luckily, I have several days until Saturday to make trial runs at decorating. But I’m still nervous. I mean, kid birthday cake is no big deal to mess up. Wedding? People remember that forever. I watched a few you tube tutorials on how to decorate.…
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I really, really suck at the post one blog per day for the whole month of November challenge. It’s been 4 days without a post. In my defense, I was afraid to post randomly stupid things that would make my readers start to dull their shanks to inflict maximum damage upon my person for filling…
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I missed some sort of life lesson as a child. And that life lesson is “It’s better to be a crapbag in your professional life to reap immediate rewards, than to have ethics and wait for your just rewards.” I know, I know. You are all telling me that I will get my just rewards…
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You know how I was challenged to write a blog a day for 30 days in a row? Yeah, I blew it. I took the past two days off to nap and eat at the Melting Pot. Future note to anyone who challenges me to something – if it doesn’t involve food, I don’t care…
Read MoreI’ve decided to start a new series called Things That Keep Me Awake At Night. I often have these random questions on why things work the way they do and no one ever knows the answer. I invariably have to turn to the internet in order to solve the riddles that only my brain seems…
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Last night I walked into Target to get a birthday card for my mom. Big mistake. $170 later, I walked out with the most expensive birthday card I have ever purchased. Really, the price of cards needs to come down a little bit or people aren’t going to be getting presents anymore. Can I skip…
Read MoreI have used my Kindle so often and for so many years that it has finally decided to quit life. Things aren’t in dire shape yet, but if I don’t get a new one for Christmas there is a very real possibility that I will shank someone. That someone will be the Hubster. He knows…
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Shank You Very Much 