By now most of you know the plight of my new lawn. It is huge. It requires mowing. Hubster is not here so apparently that mowing falls onto me. And it rains, a lot, so the grass is growing freakishly fast. Did I mention that my current lawnmower is a battery-powered toy we used in…
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I am officially a professional writer…
It’s official, I am now a paid professional writer. Holy crap! I know I’ve been saying for the past six months that I’m a freelance writer, but honestly that was mostly just a cover to enjoy sitting at home watching trashy TV. But now, it’s finally official, I am a freelance writer. I was accepted…
Read MoreIt was his last day and I almost blew it…
My brother has left, his vacation with me is over, and I am bereft. But it’s probably a good thing that he left or I may be dead. Allow me to explain. As you all know, my brother lives in Alaska and scenery is king there. A trip to visit me in Washington state means…
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Good thing he’s a chef…
Apparently I need to work on my time management. I haven’t posted a new blog in two weeks, but it’s not all my fault. My baby brother decided to pop in for a visit since we haven’t seen each other in almost seven years. Since I only had one day’s notice of his arrival, things…
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What kind of “kid” are you…
A true fat kid has experienced all 10 of these things. A chubby kid scores a 5 out of 10. A skinny kid will deny even knowing what cake is. Decide whether each statement is true or false for your lifestyle – then count up the number of true answers and vote in the poll…
Read MoreI am not explaining another accident to my doctor…
I think I may have broken my index finger. I was trying to adjust my kitchen aid bowl the other day and I foolishly opted to ignore the instruction to “unplug the unit.” And you can guess what happened next. As my hand slid on the machine, it knocked the lever and turned the mixer…
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Cake eating is complicated…
Recently I was talking to my friend on the phone, when I casually used the phrase, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” She instantly wanted to know how anyone got to eat cake if you couldn’t have it and eat it. Apparently this expression has escaped her notice until now, or else no…
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Lola had the fur scared off her….
This morning Lola and I made the command decision to clean the house. We couldn’t find a maid that we liked and could afford so we’re doing all the heavy lifting ourselves. Stupid dreams of a maid, it really made us complacent this week. So there I am, moving all of our furniture, when I…
Read MoreFoam….just foam….sigh
Note: I wrote about this problem two and a half years ago. The foam is already soft again. Where’s my fucking rock?!!!! So I have this fabulous couch that is amazing except for the fact that I am already griping that I need foam cushion replacements to sit on and it is less than three…
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I can read lips…and words…and lips…
Last night I decided to indulge in a marathon of the Fast and Furious franchise. I was bored and had a ton of time on my hands. Thanks to the world’s insatiable desire to watch cars recklessly fly around roads, there were plenty of movies in the franchise to fill up my time. Because I…
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Shank You Very Much 