I was happily minding my own business today when BAM! Out of nowhere came the realization that illiteracy is running rampant throughout the country. Social media has completely ruined us, and not in a good way. I was fine with people creating fun spellings in a hashtag format – sometimes the real word is just…
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Earth was a huge mistake…
Today I decided to look up the word Earth on Wikipedia. It was a huge mistake. My head hurts, my eyes are watering, and I think I may have drooled out the words HELP ME as my hand fell off the mouse. You see, while I love Wikipedia, I just have one problem. I can never…
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It’s brindle baby…
Have you ever been sitting in front of your computer when you suddenly ask yourself “Did I just fucking shart myself?” and then you have to run to the bathroom to check? No? ………………………. Me neither. In other news, Lola has determined her racing name will be Vroom Vroom Brindle. Give her a break, she’s…
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Lola’s Thoughts
So Lola was dancing around this morning in the kitchen. And of course she chose to do so when I was cooking for the playdate my daycare was having over for breakfast. Needless to say, trying to cook for 6 kids and two adults with a dog underfoot can make you nuts. Lola was getting…
Read MoreIt’s a fucking monopoly…
Dear sweet mother of God. Someone’s going to PAY for this atrocity! This morning I woke up to the whining of the Hubster. It wasn’t really whining, but since I am seven hours removed from the moment and my life has gotten more difficult since then, I have decided he must have been whining. About…
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They can’t see me…
Recently a loyal reader asked Lola how she interacts with big dogs. Apparently, this reader has a little dog that just pees and then whimpers in fear whenever a large dog is present. Lola had the answer for this tiny puddle maker. “I like to lie down immediately upon noticing a big dog in the…
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A tale of tragedy: Lola and the pink rubber ball…
Lola and I were playing a game of catch today with her favorite pink rubber ball. As I threw it, Lola was jumping about 5 feet into the air and catching the ball. It’s an impressive feat to watch, considering her very meager size of 18 inches tall. I guess when they were assigning all…
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Hubster finally made the shank list…
The Hubster. The man I married. The man I handpicked out of hundreds to tie my life to. Why does he vex me so?! It all began on a quiet day. I had a raging migraine and wanted a bag of my chips. I love those teeny tiny variety bags you get in the very…
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Careful not to roll an ankle…
Bedtime is perhaps my favorite time of day. Our bed has a very specific order to it. Hubster sleeps on the left side, Lola in the middle (lying on her side with feet pointing at Hubster) and I’m on the right. Everyone is usually happy. Until broken ribs and rolled ankles get thrown into the…
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I’m writing a cook book…
And decided to spice it up a bit. Lame pun intended. And to both of my brothers who went to culinary school, shut your laughing mouths and give me a damn hand! So, in reality I am making a book of all the recipes I have used and butchered to make them suit me. Because…
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Shank You Very Much 