Lola: Mommybeast, where are you?

Me: I’m in the kitchen.

Lola: Mommybeast? Mommybeast? Mommybeast?

Me: I’m in the kitchen Lola!

Lola:  Mommybeast? Mom? Mommy? Mom? Moooooooooommmmmm?

Me: I’m in the kitchen! What is your problem?!?!

Lola: Mom?

Me: Looks around. Sees absolutely no puppy and begins a panicked search.

Every door is being opened, every bed could have inadvertently become a Lola prison, trapping her underneath it. Somewhere a bulldog is in desperate need for her Mommybeast. I finally make my way to the other end of the house, no longer hearing Lola who conveniently chooses to be quite when I need her most. I open the bedroom closet and out walks Lola.

Lola: You’re an asshole.

Me: How did you get in there? I don’t remember going into that closet.

Lola: You opened the door and I walked in. I thought to smell around and see if I could locate some cheese or any other tasty delights. Then everything went dark. I was so scared, and so cold, and so alone. I thought I would die in the closet while you sat on the couch watching television and eating snacks until you fell asleep. Seriously, I can’t believe you’re in charge of this operation we call my life.

Me: (muttering as I walk away) I swear to God I never opened that door…the dog is getting clever.

Lola: (aside to the squirrels out the back door) I figured out a doorknob….watch out bitches!

My theory on why Lola did not let herself back OUT of the closet: She likes to fuck with my head. She’s part cat like that.


Check out my Facebook page @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

I also tweet like a bird on Twitter @HeatherKeet

You can also find me on Instagram @ShankYouHeather and @ShankYouDesigns

Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much

9 replies on “Scared, cold, and alone – a tale of survival…

    1. That Lola is goddamn unbelievable! She is a handful and sometimes, just a little, I want to give her some sleepy medicine. Just for the moment of peace. But since she is short snouted that would be a death sentence. And I’m no puppy killer. So I shall continue to handle her with cheese and spam bribery.

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  1. Lola sounds like one of my cats, she loves sneaking in the bedroom as I walk out and then hides under the bed at the back where I can’t reach. Stupidly coaxed her out with treats once or twice and I think its her way of getting some more hahah #globalblogging

    Liked by 1 person

  2. One of my cats has figured out how to open the closet door in the bathroom. He kept getting trapped in there and I couldn’t figure out how he kept getting in when I wasn’t even near the closet and the boys don’t even go into that closet. I watched him one day after I did go into the closet for some towels. He literally sat there after I left the bathroom and kept pawing at the door until it opened. I investigated how he was doing that and the door doesn’t always close completely when I close it. I have to practically slam the door shut. After realizing this I asked the boys about the closet and they said that sometimes the door is open when they go to the bathroom so naturally they close it. Every single time there ends up being a trapped kitty, lol

    Liked by 1 person

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