Or should I say #MakeMeWantToViolentlyShankSomeone?! If you are a hashtag aficionado, this post may not be the one for you. Or better yet, read it and maybe you’ll see how us non-hashtaggers view you. I cannot believe I just typed the word non-hashtagger. Even more shocking was the fact that my spell check thinks this…
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For totally obscure, bizarre rational reasons. Today she calls me and tells me how much she loves and misses me. Inside I start praying to baby Jesus to save me. Here’s the thing. My mom rarely calls me on a weekday. Or for no reason other than to say she loves me. There’s usually at…
Read MoreI am not a big fan of spiders. Who is?! Despite my dislike, I do appreciate that they keep the insect population down. However, I have just one question; who keeps the spider population down? We have an unattached garage that we rarely use. When I say rarely, I mean the door hasn’t been opened…
Read MoreSo today I am happily scrolling through Facebook and I am dreaming of my breakfast. I’m hoping a quesadilla will make an appearance when I get so scared I have to go crap my pants. There was a cat picture, but it wasn’t your normal cat picture. This was the Chuck Norris of cats (I wish I…
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Disclaimer: I mock the Navy in this blog. It’s my birthright because I’ve been in the Navy since I was -9 months old. That’s when my dad and mom did something I never want to think about. And now I’m thinking about it. I am going to shank my brain and swirl now… Today the…
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So as you all know, yesterday was the day of the big elections. I was reelected as The President and the Daddybeast has been ordered to remain in his post, apparently he wasn’t up for reelection and there is no stepping down. Well, after a rough night and early morning Lola is demanding a recount of the…
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Okay ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for my annual word pick. Well, it’s not really annual yet. I only did it once and decided I liked it. Last year I decided to pick a word to use everyday – and not just an easy word like “the”. It had to be a word that is not easy…
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I’m sitting with Lola today and we’re having a conversation. I know what most of you are thinking, how can you have a conversation with a bulldog? I say, look at this face. How can you NOT have a conversation with her?!?! Lola rehashes her job description with me and wants to clarify some points. She…
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I have never sought therapy for any reason. I find it pointless for my personality and that’s just the way I think some people are wired. I had a therapist friend once who wanted to have me committed said I was fine. She said that dramatic people usually need very little guidance on their feelings…
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Lola woke up this morning and decided she’s on a vendetta against all squirrels. She is frantically running around the house and barking at every window that leads to the outdoors. I start following her and realize that there are no squirrels in the yard. Lola, not one to be daunted, said she thinks they…
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Shank You Very Much 