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A cartoon rendering of Lola the English Bulldog. She has a text bubble that reads

Bedtime is perhaps my favorite time of day. Our bed has a very specific order to it. Hubster sleeps on the left side, Lola in the middle (lying on her side with feet pointing at Hubster) and I’m on the right. Everyone is usually happy.

Until broken ribs and rolled ankles get thrown into the mix.

Last night Lola was exhausted because Hubster played with her too much – he forgot that English bulldogs are too stubborn to stop, so they play until they drop. Lola is in bed, her feet resting on Hubster’s side, while I am slowly drifting off to sleep. Suddenly I feel this massive wave of puppy momentum coming towards me! Lola had pushed off Hubster’s rib cage, hard enough to make it all the way over to my side of the bed.

I’m immediately concerned that Lola has injured her stubby body.

Me: Lola are you ok? You pushed so hard. You could hurt yourself.

Lola: I’m okay Mommybeast. I just had to get comfortable.

Me: Whew! I thought you hurt yourself. Are you sure that you’re ok? Anything feel wiggly that doesn’t be wiggly?

Lola: Only my nubby feels wiggly, but tails should be wiggly. I just needed some extra space – my chub wants to have breathing room.

Me: Ok, good night puppy.

…..

…..

Hubster: I’m glad to see we’re so worried about the puppy and the massive amount of movement she just did. Seeing as how she used my ribs to make all that movement, one would think my well-being might be a concern! But you’re right Lola, let’s see if you’re ok. You need to be very careful. You might roll an ankle while breaking my ribs. You’re very delicate. I wouldn’t want you to hurt anything.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (tears are now streaming down my face – and as I am gasping for air all I can do is wonder why poor Hubster even gets into bed with us.)

Lola: …. What a “victim” my Daddybeast is.


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Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much or click to see a special collection below: