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Lola and I were playing a game of catch today with her favorite pink rubber ball. As I threw it, Lola was jumping about 5 feet into the air and catching the ball. It’s an impressive feat to watch, considering her very meager size of 18 inches tall. I guess when they were assigning all the English Bulldogs a personality, the fairy decided couch potato, given to all other of her species, was just not enough for Lola. No, I managed to get the Bulldog with energy brimming over, and a side of athletic prowess.

I threw the ball, Lola makes a huge leap, and I do the classic human “feet apart arms out” pose to try to block her from running by me. Lola responds by performing the “through the legs” move that, as a fat kid, I have no chance of stopping. She went right through me.

Not one to be defeated, I threw the ball and repeated my stance, hoping to stop her this time. My feet were closer together and I could practically taste my upcoming victory. The Littles were so confident in my move that they were cheering me on.

Lola rams right into my leg and wipes me completely out. I was on the ground, The Littles are crawling/walking over to me as fast as their chub would allow them, and I was trying to figure out what in the hell just happened. The only logical conclusion I could draw: the damn dog is on steroids. I vowed to find out who her supplier is and kill them.

Now will someone bring me an ice pack?!

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Lola and I opened a store so we can sell our funniest blog sayings on cool stuff. Check it out at Shank You Very Much