All articles filed in Etiquette

Dear Lola, Why do we say an alarm clock is going ‘off’ when the alarm is actually turning on? Shouldn’t we say the alarm is turning on? Also, when we turn the alarm off, does that mean the alarm is still making noise or silent? We’re using the same word to mean two entirely different things –…

Dear Lola, I have always wondered which occurs first – waking up or opening your eyes? I thought that surely you must wake up first, therefore spurring your eyes to open. Yet, are you really awake if you cannot remember anything before the moment you opened your eyes? I thought about this for a long time…

Dear Lola, Why do they call financial services people a broker? Doesn’t the very title lead you to have misgivings about giving them your money? Why would we hire someone to make us broke? I’ve been thinking about this all night, I’m turning 25 and been told it’s time to set up retirement accounts. Also, would…

Dear Lola, I recently stumbled across an oddity while doing my weekly grocery shop. I was purchasing ketchup and as I was grabbing my usual bottle, I saw that the ketchup next to it was labeled fancy. My ketchup doesn’t say it is fancy. The colors looked the same. The ingredients looked the same. What makes…

Dear Lola, Why does round pizza come in a square box? I’ve seen square pizza, so I know it exists. I’ve also seen circle boxes, so those exist as well. A quick search of Google left me with the impression this is cost related, but that seems like an easy answer to a complex question.…

Dear Lola, Why do Americans call the tiny versions of a candy bar a “fun size” bar? What makes it fun? I don’t understand if it is the small size that makes it fun, or some other attribute we in Scotland have never been able to experience. I know you’re an English Bulldog, but I’m…

Dear Lola, I am a blogger who writes very funny things on the internet. I have even been known to make a few people laugh out loud. Some of my posts feature my son, who likes to explore the inner workings of indoor plumbing. It seemed to be met with hearty chuckles and pats on…

Dear Lola, My husband has this rather odd little habit of driving me INSANE! He always leaves a scrappy amount of milk in the bottom of the carton in the fridge, and then opens a new one. He says that this is because there isn’t enough to put on his cereal, and that he doesn’t…

Dear Lola, My child seems to be incapable of picking up her own laundry. I’m worried she will never learn how to pick up clothing from the floor and place it in our laundry hamper. Despite my placing 16 hampers between her door and bed, she cannot seem to get the clothes inside. Will she ever…

Over three years ago, I started this blog. A few months after that, Lola began demanding space for her own bulldog thoughts to be added for the reader’s delight. Thus started the series called Dear Lola. I’m ashamed to say that I failed to keep up with this series. Lola has reminded me of my…