Dear Lola,

I have always wondered which occurs first – waking up or opening your eyes? I thought that surely you must wake up first, therefore spurring your eyes to open. Yet, are you really awake if you cannot remember anything before the moment you opened your eyes? I thought about this for a long time and now I just think I need a nap. Please help me solve this mystery.

Eye Need a Nap

Dear Lola

Dear Eye Need a Nap,

I knew I should have gone to medical school. People said it would be a waste to spend that kind of money on a bulldog’s education, but look at us now! I can sit and rollover, sure, but how does that help you out?!

Never fear human, I have come up with the answer.

The dilemma is that being awake is not synonymous with either scenario. Sometimes, I find myself “awake” in bed, but the sun is not quite shining high enough for me. I therefore keep my eyes closed, to avoid the crushing disappointment of my Mommybeast ripping me from the warm bed to “do my business” in the cold, dark void they call a yard. If I agree that I am awake before opening my eyes, I am also acknowledging that I am deceiving my precious Mommybeast. Since she controls my food source, you understand how that would be foolhardy.

Other times, I open my eyes and find out that I have been on quite an adventure while sleeping – the humans like to recount these to me over breakfast. I’ve chased bunnies through the backyard, barked at squirrels in a tree, and kicked my Daddybeast in the ribcage…relentlessly. If we deduce that movement comes after waking up, then Daddybeast has quite a case to sue me in court over all the bruising I’ve subjected him to. Therefore, I can’t say that being awake has any bearing on body movement, including the eyelids.

I think you are truly awake when your memory is engaged. To be awake, you need to be able to recall old thoughts and commit new ones to memory. This being said, I now realize how many Hominid Wranglers (parents) are running around each day, seemingly awake, but technically sleeping. Especially Wranglers of the very Miniature Humans. Those poor humans can’t recall anything and they are certainly incapable of making new memories – the most they can do is guzzle caffeine with a vacant expression upon their face.


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42 replies on “Dear Lola – Eye need a nap…

  1. I think my eyes are closed and I am awake. When I open them it is usually quite torturous at first, so I keep them closed as long as I can willing sleepy land to take me back for a little (or lot) longer #globalblogging

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Haha, thank you Lola for another chuckle 😄 Especially like the last bit, as I’m hopelessly hooked on the ol’ caffeine, and ‘pretty vacant’ (any old punk rockers out there who recognise the song title..?😉)x #globalblogging

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nice. Makes me think of how sometimes I realize I’ve driven several miles without making any memory of those passing moments. This kind of zoned out driving is common enough, I guess, as everyone to whom I have mentioned it has admitted to similar experiences. I find it more pronounced since moving to a small town. I’ll be one one side of town, entering then find myself at the other side, leaving, with no memory of having driven through. Will this phenomenon grow to encompass my life? Will I look up one day and realize years have passed? Time will tell! Anyway, great post. Cheers.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think everyone needs a bit of Lola in their life! I’m definitely one of those Hominid Wranglers… pretty vacant most of the time. Speaking of which, time for some caffeine! #globalblogging

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Very wise words from Lola as always!! I find it possible to be up and functioning to the outside world yet still being half asleep!! #globalblogging

    Liked by 1 person

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