Dear Lola,

My husband has this rather odd little habit of driving me INSANE! He always leaves a scrappy amount of milk in the bottom of the carton in the fridge, and then opens a new one. He says that this is because there isn’t enough to put on his cereal, and that he doesn’t like to mix milk because it would be from different cows – which is apparently very wrong? He confirms that this is in no way because he can’t be bothered to deal with the empty carton. *cough* How do I stop him doing this?

Milk Mad in Yorkshire

Dear Lola

Dear Milk Mad in Yorkshire,

I would like to start off this letter by telling you how very sorry I am that you stumble upon milk cartons with just a splash of liquid in them. As a fellow milk lover, I think this should definitely be considered a heinous crime, punishable in a court of law. In the dog world, we would make that milk monster walk behind us as we pooped. Since you’re a human, you obviously need a human solution – and I’ve got a terrific plan for you. Hide the milk!

First off, empty out some wine bottles, red wine would best suit our purposes. As I note you have several young children, this should not be a difficult task to accomplish after they retreat to their beds each night. Then you’ll want to clean those bottles very well, I’m almost positive that milk and wine mixed together would taste awful. Then you’ll carefully funnel milk from the carton into the wine bottle.

Here is where you have to think diabolically. You will now take red food coloring and put a few drops into the milk. Should your husband get suspicious about the lack of milk cartons in the refrigerator, this should throw him off track. He may smell milk, but his eyes will see wine. Humans rarely trust their sense of smell over their sight.

This should be enough to throw dear husband off track. Maybe once he’s had to skip cereal for a few days, he’ll realize he needs to be more proactive in the milk department.


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47 replies on “Dear Lola – Cows are cows…

  1. Dear Lola.

    Thank you so much for this incredible advice. I can absolutely see this working. I shall immediately commence with the drinking of the wine. It’s a hardship but I’m sure I’ll pull through. Sending bacon.

    Lots of love.
    Milk Mad in Yorkshire. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Me again! Oh this still makes me chortle, and I’m thoroughly enjoying the wine trick for so many non-milk related reasons 😂 Thanks for sharing these incredible words of wisdom with #DreamTeam hon 😘 🐄 x

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Lola, you are a genius! Any advice on how to explain to my overweight cat that pink milk is still milk? Cats are super suspicious!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ha ha my teen does the same thing. Only if it’s the only carton in the fridge. He tries to pass it off with “I was saving it for you for a coffee in the morning” Yes that’s very kind of you. I like my coffee with two drops of milk in it!!


    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sound advice. Do you have any advice for those that leave empty packets in the cupboard or the freezer. I went to get a choc ice the other day and it was just and empty box 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Haha as if the milk in each carton is from a different cow. Although if you drink the wine rather than using it as a tool to hide the milk, you probably won’t care anymore
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. What an excellent solution! Lola is the voice of wisdom as always-I will be taking this advice! My husband drives me potty with this-he does it with milk/juice/toilet roll/toothpaste, the list is endless… *feels angrier by the second*!! Thanks for the brilliant suggestions!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hi, I love Loloa’s Solution to the problem with the milk cartons. Luckily I don’t have this problem as my OH loves their milk and often runs out. They will never have my dairy free one though #thatfridaylinky

    Liked by 1 person

  8. So pleased I am not alone in my suffering, I have the same with toothpaste, toilet roll and tomato/brown sauce containers and it is tres annoying (she swore silently) Brilliant advice on this xx #DreamTeam

    Liked by 1 person

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