Dear Lola,

Why do Americans call the tiny versions of a candy bar a “fun size” bar? What makes it fun? I don’t understand if it is the small size that makes it fun, or some other attribute we in Scotland have never been able to experience. I know you’re an English Bulldog, but I’m hoping your adopted home of America will lend you some insight into this odd naming of candy.

Not Feeling the Fun in Fife

Dear Lola

Dear Not Feeling the Fun in Fife,

While I have spent many hours pondering the odd workings of human behavior, I have never pondered this curiosity before you posed the question. I’m also very afraid of chocolate because Mommybeast tells me it will kill me, while using her very serious tone that brooks no argument from me. I’ll never stop asking for cheese though, she never gets her serious tone out when I eat that!

Back to the matter at hand though! The name of these tiny candy bars is definitely an oxymoron. While that explains the verbiage, I suspect you want to know why someone would choose an oxymoron when naming a candy.

For that, we must blame the Hominid Wrangler.

(Note from Lola’s Mommybeast: a Hominid Wrangler is the parent of a human child, or as I call them, Miniature Humans.)

The fun size candy bar was named thusly so Miniature Humans are fooled into thinking the small bar is far superior to the “regular” candy bar sitting just next to it on the shelf. Instead of eating a boring candy bar, the Miniature Human will naturally gravitate to the fun candy bar. The Hominid Wrangler gets three benefits from this con artistry.

First, Hominid Wranglers don’t have to tell their Miniature Humans no. Hominid Wranglers can confidently say yes to the tiny candy with all the glee that my Mommybeast displays as she tosses cheese towards my face. During my observations, I’ve noticed that Hominid Wranglers are bound by a clause where they can only use the word no in extreme cases where death may result. It seems counterintuitive to my own species’ technique of teaching. My guess is that humans have not evolved far enough yet. Be patient, your time will come.

Second, Hominid Wranglers get to save a bit of money. Unlike a luxuriously priced regular candy bar, the fun size candy is much more economical. This is a necessity because the Miniature Human will see a balloon later in the day and screech for it until everyone around them wants to poke their ears out just to make the noise stop. Save your ears, buy the fun size candy.

Third, the Hominid Wrangler will not have to contend with a vicious sugar high as a result of the meager sized candy bar. While that initial sugar high seems like a party, the Miniature Human will eventually come crashing down with a bang. Then the Hominid Wrangler is left with a screaming Miniature Human who suddenly forgot how to work their legs, arms, and ears.

This all leaves me wondering if Miniature Humans are worth all the effort one must expend to make sure they turn out properly. Well, that’s a topic for another day!


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65 replies on “Dear Lola – Not feeling the fun…

  1. Yeah, that sounds about right! I know I have used those fun sized candy bars to tide my kids over just long enough to wait for dinner a few times lol. You get to calm the little beast while also still feeling like a good parent for not giving the bigger bar thus sparing the sugar rush and the mom guilt:)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ah Lola I’m so glad you explained that for us. I have often wondered why they’re called fun size and I’m glad that I can now confidently answer this important question #blogcrush

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Why did I never question the “fun size”? Maybe because I ate so many of them that they were no longer considered fun anymore! You’ve explained it so clearly that I wish I had thought of that first!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi, I’ve never thought about a fun size bars name before reading this. I guess because I can’t generally eat them, but a very valid point. Maybe its fun because it has less calories who knows….

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Very wise words Lola , funsize chocs I guess really are an evil plan to fool the little people!!! Unfortunately they don’t fool me so I end up eating way too many! #DreamTeam

    Liked by 1 person

  6. LOL 😂 yes! This is a brilliant explanation Lola and spot on in terms of cheating the little tikes out of the dreaded full-sized sugary bar. Your description of mama throwing cheese at you has stuck, and I now sit here wondering what Alfie thinks of my biscuit throwing skills. Thanks for being a fab #dreamteam host Heather xx

    Liked by 1 person

  7. They may be fun for little people, but not adults like me who have to eat loads of them to get the same satisfaction of eating a “normal” one! Lol!

    Liked by 1 person

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