All articles filed in Banter

Dear Lola, What would you suggest I do when I find empty boxes in my refrigerator and pantry? Just last night I went to get a fudge pop from the freezer, only to discover that the box of pops was empty. I cannot begin to tell you how upset this made me – I was…

Dear Lola, I’m having some trouble in my marriage and it’s becoming a larger problem with each passing day. My husband hates my cooking. I don’t mean he’s ambivalent about it, or just doesn’t care much about food, I mean he hates it. He complains about every single dinner I cook. It’s too spicy, too sweet, too…

Dear Lola, Have you ever seen a real unicorn? I say they are a figment of the imagination, but my daughter disagrees. She says that I believe in things I haven’t seen all the time, like a million dollars. (She gets her biting wit from her mother.) Please side with me on this one, I’m quickly…

Dear Lola, I have always wanted to know why the buttons on a phone keypad are different from the buttons on a calculator. At first I wrote it off as two entirely different machines, the landline telephone and a detached calculating machine. However, once the smart phone was invented, why did they not correct this…

Dear Lola, I have a very important question relating to cheese and I hear you are a bit of an expert in that food group. I recently bought two triangles of Brie. Each one was made by a different company. Each one had more than a month before they hit their expiration date. Both of them went…

Dear Lola, Why do people push harder when the batteries in the remote control die? Why not save yourself the agony of two weeks of rage and frustration every time the buttons don’t respond, and just get up to put batteries in the remote control? I am beyond baffled that my husband and teenagers never…

Dear Lola, I am having trouble getting my children to eat their vegetables. Thanks to your Mommybeast’s social media posts, I am aware that you eat everything she hands you. What does she do that makes you so excited to eat the food you are given? I’ve tried threatening my kids with the veggie monster like…

Dear Lola, I know that my question may sound simple, but it has plagued me for years. Why is there a light in the refrigerator but not in the freezer? I want to see what I am picking out, instead of feeling around and hoping I find something delicious. Sincerely, Danger in the Dark Dear Danger…

Dear Lola, I am having trouble getting my children to brush their teeth. I have tried everything that we humans have in our toolbox to coax kids into cooperating – new toothpaste that tastes like candy, actual candy, stickers, coloring books, even a new dress up costume. Nothing works! Every night is a struggle to the…

Dear Lola, I have a question about a classic Disney movie. How did Lady and the Tramp find the beginning and end of the spaghetti without even trying? Do dogs really have the lip ability to suck spaghetti up? My dog eats his food like a maniac and I’m wondering if I should be expecting…