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Dear Lola,

Have you ever seen a real unicorn? I say they are a figment of the imagination, but my daughter disagrees. She says that I believe in things I haven’t seen all the time, like a million dollars. (She gets her biting wit from her mother.) Please side with me on this one, I’m quickly losing ground to my tween daughter.

It’s a Horse of Course

Dear Lola

Dear It’s a Horse of Course,

I’m wincing as I start this letter, distressed that I cannot make your wish come true and give you a win over your daughter. Tweens seem to find a way to come out on top not matter what the issue is. Perhaps you should ask her to choose your lottery numbers in future so you can finally see that million dollars. Send a bit of cash this way and I’ll agree with you no matter what your kid says.

Unicorns are real.

I have a friend named Barnaby and he’s beautiful – boasting an array of rainbow colors. He is slightly chubby, owing to all the cake he eats when no one is looking. One would assume that his cake habit would ensure a happy disposition, but Barnaby actually has some mild anger issues. I attribute this to his continually having to justify his existence to those over the age of 20.

Don’t be put on his shank list by doing the same thing.

An angry, chubby, rainbow unicorn sitting down with the phrase 'made with genuine unicorn tears' under him.


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