Dear Lola,

I’m having some trouble in my marriage and it’s becoming a larger problem with each passing day. My husband hates my cooking. I don’t mean he’s ambivalent about it, or just doesn’t care much about food, I mean he hates it. He complains about every single dinner I cook. It’s too spicy, too sweet, too peppery, too salty, too hot, too cold – the list just goes on and on. We never eat out at restaurants since we married and I’m beginning to understand why. Sadly, I didn’t realize this problem existed because we lived apart until marriage and he never complained about restaurants as we dated. I love food and cooking and I’ve been complimented on my meals from virtually everyone I’ve ever hosted, but not the most important person. It has gotten so bad that I no longer feel joy when entering the kitchen and I rarely host others for dinner as I’m worried they are just being polite when I cook.

What should I do? (I should note that I’ve discussed this with him, but he says he is merely giving feedback in an attempt to help me better my skills – feedback I’ve asked him to withhold.)

Sincerely,
Frustrated Foodie

Dear Lola

Dear Frustrated Foodie,

I have one question to ask you and I’m sure my readers are thinking it also.

Why are you still married to this person?

Your spouse hid this terrible side of himself until after you had walked down the altar. You were completely blind-sided by a man who stopped eating out entirely, and began a campaign of complaints about the thing you feel most passionate about. He spends his mealtimes listing all the ways your meal has ruined his mood, if not his life.

He’s even affecting your social schedule with his insults.

It’s time to wage a full assault. Make a delicious spaghetti sauce and then add an entire bottle of hot sauce to his portion – watch his face turn purple when he bites into it. Prepare a delicious steak and dump a mountain of salt onto his piece once it is done cooking – allow the salt to dissolve in the steak’s juices and then serve. Another revenge meal is to prepare a delicious scampi and then dump a bottle of ground pepper into his serving.

If he’s going to complain, he may as well have reason to.

In all seriousness though, don’t tamper with his food. It may actually be illegal and you could harm his health. What you can do is simple. Draw a clear line in the sand and stop cooking for your husband. Cook for yourself and only yourself. Please your palate and delight your culinary senses with a new creation of your choosing each night. If he tries to eat your creation, simply smack his hands away.

He is an adult and can cook his own damn meals!

Set up how you want this marriage to continue from here on out. If he cannot stop critiquing your meals, you simply won’t make him any. If he can learn to be respectful, maybe you’ll deign to cook for him every so often. My final piece of advice is this – if he can’t figure this out, leave him and pick up your next guy at a restaurant opening or food tasting.

♥Lola♥

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26 replies on “Dear Lola – Frustrated foodie…

  1. Haha, this hits close to home as this was one of the main problems in my marriage. He didn’t critique the food but rather wouldn’t eat it because “it didn’t tastes like mom’s” or he “wasn’t in the mood to eat that particular food”. After 10 I had enough of that. When she says she doesn’t even want to go into the kitchen anymore, I completely empathized. I actually did the same thing eventually. I stopped cooking for him. It didn’t teach him anything though until I left his ass, lol!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I did reach out to her that this was a worrisome trait and she should be honest with herself if she can continue down this marital path and to seek actual professional advice for this matter. Red flags went up with me!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Those are major red flags I believe because its not just about the food. It sounds like he takes pleasure out of putting down her favorite thing. I actually dated someone who did that and he genuinely took pleasure out of seeing my displeasure. Not a good place to be and time to get out. #GlobalBlogging

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I think your advice is spot on…except maybe tampering with the food! I recently took a step back from making meals for my hubby as he’s soooo damn fussy and wouldn’t entertain the idea of the “diet” food I was making us! After a few weeks of fending for himself with freezer food and takeaways for one, he soon came round and saw the grass wasn’t always greener on the other side! He even started cooking for us a bit himself! I wonder how it turned out for the Frustrated Foodie – hope she found the confidence to get back into the kitchen! (Joining in with #GlobalBlogging for the first time!)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I must say I’d be right with your response on this one Lola. I always have someone at the dinner table these days who says they don’t like what I’ve cooked that night, thankfully it is balanced by someone else who does like it or I’d stop. #GlobalBlogging

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think my advice would be….
    Continue to cook wonderful meals and serve them to yourself. Give that ungrateful man a slice of dry toast. He’ll soon decide that your meals are wonderful!
    Love the advice! #globalblogging

    Liked by 1 person

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