Recently I was talking to my friend on the phone, when I casually used the phrase, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” She instantly wanted to know how anyone got to eat cake if you couldn’t have it and eat it. Apparently this expression has escaped her notice until now, or else no…
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This morning Lola and I made the command decision to clean the house. We couldn’t find a maid that we liked and could afford so we’re doing all the heavy lifting ourselves. Stupid dreams of a maid, it really made us complacent this week. So there I am, moving all of our furniture, when I…
Read MoreNote: I wrote about this problem two and a half years ago. The foam is already soft again. Where’s my fucking rock?!!!! So I have this fabulous couch that is amazing except for the fact that I am already griping that I need foam cushion replacements to sit on and it is less than three…
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Last night I decided to indulge in a marathon of the Fast and Furious franchise. I was bored and had a ton of time on my hands. Thanks to the world’s insatiable desire to watch cars recklessly fly around roads, there were plenty of movies in the franchise to fill up my time. Because I…
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Lola has been tad bit annoyed with me lately. She doesn’t know where the Daddybeast went and she hates to sleep without snuggles. Snuggling with me is out of the question, I’m a flipper and kicker. Anyone near me is probably going to lose an eye. Last night, our argument over which one of us is…
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Lola has been hard at work this week trying to kickstart our very stagnant Instagram account. To wow her audiences, Lola has prepared a “Days of the Week” series and it started yesterday. So if you are not following us on Instagram, you’re just missing out aren’t you?! Fret not, if you’re not on Instagram,…
Read MoreI tried to go to sleep last night and it didn’t work. Well, it would’ve worked if the entire world hadn’t been conspiring against me. And Lola, never forget that the Lola suffered next to me. You’ll never be alone… It all started about 2am when we made a critical error in the bedtime routine.…
Read MoreUber, Uber, Uber. They just can’t seem to catch a break. Let’s take a little look at the ride sharing trend that has sprouted up around the country, shall we? First, the basic principle is to use an app to get a stranger to show up and drive you home. Take a minute to think about…
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We’ve been slammed with multiple storms here in Washington state. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I haven’t been posting as often for the past few weeks. Now you know why. I’ve been pretending to be living in Medieval times, because it’s much more pleasant than having to acknowledge the truth: Without electricity, life really sucks…
Read MoreI think I need to hire a handyman. I just wrote out a list of items that need to be addressed during good weather season to make sure everything in my new home continues to function. I am very nervous that my fat kid self will be physically and mentally exhausted trying to complete this…
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Shank You Very Much 