Dear Lola – Blind-sided by a baby…

Dear Lola,

Where do butterflies sleep? That was the question lobbed at me by my three-year-old while we were driving to nursery one morning. Why he couldn’t have waited to ask the professionals who were less than five minutes away, I will never know. Unfortunately, he asked me and promptly found out that I am a complete numpty who didn’t know the basics of butterfly life. I can only imagine what he told his teachers that day after I dropped him off. So much for having an advanced degree…

Sincerely,
Blind-Sided by a Baby

Dear Blind-Sided,

I think your Miniature Human’s question just broke my Mommybeast. She is blinking rapidly, wheezing as if she’s run a mile, and double-checking that she did indeed earn a degree from an accredited college. Yet she finds herself at this very moment mumbling in dismay that she doesn’t know where butterflies sleep. It would probably shock you to learn that her degree is in teaching preschool children, the very group of people who should know this answer! Maybe this is why she quit her job and now writes books for a living.

I think we’ve established who should win the numpty trophy, and it isn’t you.

Luckily, my knowledge base comes from an endless fount of information that no human can access – Wikipuppia. Canines once tried to help the humans by allowing them to read our books, but this ended in sheer chaos. Apparently, humans can only handle so much information before their brains begin to rock back and forth slowly. Canines promptly took their books back and have diligently allowed only a trickle of information to flow to the humans. Luckily for you, butterfly knowledge is on the approved list for interspecies sharing. If I could, I would whisper in your ear- we aren’t alone in this universe – but I can’t, so I shan’t.

Butterflies sleep in the bubbles blown by Miniature Humans.

Your human mind probably fabricated some nonsense answer – like butterflies sleep hidden amongst foliage for protection. You may have even gone so far to presume that butterflies sometimes sleep on flowers. How wrong you would be. Imagine how stuffed up a butterfly’s nose would be if it slept in a bed of pollen! It’s absolute nonsense and I cannot comprehend how The Google thinks they can get away with spreading this absurd information as fact.

The human species must be more gullible than I originally thought.

Now that you know the truth, be sure to buy your Miniature Human a huge bucket of bubbles on the way home from work today. You do not want a homicidal butterfly creeping through your yard because he hasn’t been getting his eight hours of sleep each night.

♥Lola♥

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