Dear Lola,

My partner and I are having a parenting disagreement and I’m hoping you can solve it for us. Our children were given computers at the start of the new school year as part of their curriculum. They bring the computers home each day and have work to complete online. Their computers also double as their textbooks since those have been converted completely over to digital. My partner does not want our children using the computers as much as they are. He thinks the schools should use more traditional methods in order to reduce the amount of screen time children are exposed to. While I understand his viewpoint, which has been hammered home by every pediatrician on planet Earth, I also realize our children need to keep up with the world. They are both entering their teens and I do not see anything wrong with the school’s system. Our dinner conversation each night for the past month of school has revolved around this issue and I am exhausted. My partner is insistent that if the school will not accommodate paper versus computers we need to find one that will. What should I do?


Tiresome Tech Talk

Dear Tiresome Tech Talk,

There was a moment, right at the start of your letter, where my pulse began racing as I realized your problem would likely require several hours of contemplation in order to find a solution. As I began to cancel my afternoon plans of a nap, followed by six hours of television and snacking, I reached the sentence where you stated your Miniature Humans’ ages. I gathered my snacks with a deep sigh of relief.

My nap time and TV marathon were in no danger of cancellation.

Your partner is being silly. You can quote me on that. I also think you’re a bit silly because the solution to this problem is so simplistic that I’m surprised it hasn’t hit you in the face. I’m going to go ahead and blame your partner for your brain lapse because he has obviously worn you down with his droning on and on about tech time for Miniature Humans.

Did you catch the pun? It was intended.

The solution to your problem was in front of you the entire time and you didn’t even know it. Before you approach your partner with this brilliant idea, get your camera ready – his look of utter shock will be something you want to commemorate for years to come.

Simply agree with your partner that a new school is necessary.

Then all that is left for you to do is sit back and chuckle as he embarks on a futile search for something that doesn’t exist. He may as well go on a search for a flying unicorn that farts glitter. Grab yourself a bucket of popcorn and head to the couch, free from the burden of listening to his nightly rant against the evils of the computer screen.

Think of all the time you’ll have to dedicate to the newest season of British baking!

I feel I should warn you that the rants will likely resume once your partner has exhausted the list of schools within your geographical area. It will be up to you to find a way to distract him, though I highly recommend you sign him up for jousting lessons. Not only will he get to spend an hour living in a time period without tech, he will also be too tired to talk at the dinner table that night.


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