I have no arrangement with streaming services to promote their content, I just really love watching tv. I also really hate the vague genres that streaming services assign and thought creativity would help people choose better programming.
Day 354 since first lockdown began. All hope seems lost. Streaming services are desperate to keep eyeballs focused on their programs. Humans have been scrolling aimlessly for so long, their thumbs have become arthritic.
The slow release of content wears on us all.
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No longer able to rely on a single platform to entertain for hours, the populace has turned to the internet for solutions. Allow me to introduce to you –
The Most Awesome Watchlist Ever Created, Extreme Boredom Edition
Top ‘Humans Are the Worst’ Show
American Murder, The Family Next Door
A woman and her two children go missing. The husband, and father of the two girls, is the prime suspect. You will end up threatening the screen throughout the entire show as your rage builds to epic proportions. I almost burst a blood vessel in my eye and I’m still achy from clenching my fists. Available on Netflix.
Top ‘Laugh Track Not Needed’ Show
Michael McIntyre, Showman
I am warning you right now, empty your bladder before you begin watching this comedy special. Do not attempt to snack while watching, you will choke on your food. I made these mistakes so you don’t have to. I also strained a leg muscle while sprinting to the bathroom during a particularly funny bit. Available on Netflix.
Top ‘What the F*ck Did I Just Watch’ Show
Hoarders
I thought I had a clear understanding of the word hoarding – then I watched this series. I can confidently say that almost every viewer will be shocked when they see the state of the homes on this show. Warning: any attempts to eat during this show may lead to nausea. Also, the nausea will occur even when not eating. Available on Amazon Prime.
Top ‘Best Nap I Ever Had’ Show
Fall Inn Love
No, that is not a typo in the title. This is a terrible cheesy movie about an inn owner who falls in love. Just saying that makes me sleepy. You will sleep well during this movie and once you awake, you can pick out something decent to watch. Available on Netflix.
Top ‘I’ll Be Back’ Show
The Witcher
I know what you’re thinking – this was on my previous watchlist in the exact same spot. You’re right. In case you didn’t notice, the pandemic has slowed production down and I’m still waiting for season 2. Patience is a virtue and I’m practically ready for sainthood after this many months. Deep breaths. Available on Netflix.
May Inspire You… To Murder Someone
Falling For A Killer
Ted Bundy documentaries are prevalent but this one takes a completely unique look from the female perspective. Interviewing his long-time girlfriend and her daughter, who have never before given interviews, in addition to the female survivors and detectives. This documentary shows the turmoil that spreads far beyond the victims themselves. Available on Amazon Prime.
May Inspire You… To Change Religions
WandaVision
I bet you just paused for a moment to question why I would assign a Marvel show to this category. Without spoiling too much for future viewers, trust me when I tell you that a catchy theme song may just lead you to read up on the pagan religion of Wicca. Available on Disney+.
May Inspire You… To Build Something
Petra, Secrets of the Ancient Builders
Massive desert cliffs and no electricity to run power tools. How exactly an entire ancient city was carved into the mountains is absolutely fascinating. Sure, the documentary explained how it was done – but I’m still in shock. Oh, did I mention they had massive swimming pools and they lived before the year zero?! Mind.Blown. Available on Disney+.
May Inspire You… To Eat Until You Hurt
Best Leftovers Ever!
Foodies from across the world signed up for a culinary competition. Unfortunately for them, the only ingredients they will get to use are leftovers from the refrigerator. It’s been years since I’ve seen that level of shock and utter despair on the faces of contestants. Available on Netflix.
May Inspire You… To Get A Bigger Boat
Megafault
Big name cast, check. Well-established plot line about natural disaster, check. Absolutely cheesy special effects, check. After watching this turn-of-the-century movie, I have decided that the writers of San Andreas may have loved this movie as much as I did. Oh, and how fun is it to be able to use the phrase ‘turn of the century’ and know you were alive during that time?! Available on Amazon Prime.